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azzuri · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 12 Sep 2005 Posts: 3776

Two Farmers

Two Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Shuie, are sitting in the Farmers bar, drinking beer. Tam turns to Shuie and says, "You know, I'm tired of goin' through life withoot an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes."

Shuie thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day Tam goes down to the college and meets the lecturer, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Maths, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Tam says. "Fit's that?"

The Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"

"Aye"

"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a garden."

"That's true, I dae huv a garden."

"I'm not done," the Lecturer says. "Because you have a garden, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Aye, I do have a hoose."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a femily."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Aye, I dae have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing; you were able to find out all of that because I have a strimmer." Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturers's hand and leaves to meet Shuie at the pub.

He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is signed up for Maths, English, History and Logic.

"Logic?" Shuie says, "Fit's that?"

Tam says, "I'll show you. Do you have a strimmer?"

"No."

"Then you're a poof."

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