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Reluctant Hero

Expenses Row # 549194

Employment minister Tony McNulty is the latest MP to be caught up claiming money for a "second home" in dubious circumstances.  As the recession begins to bite, people are going to become even less tolerant of this sort of behaviour.

It seems a perfect time to have a review of the entire expense system for MPs.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7957555.stm
jamesieboy

Let's face it, the politicians especially the Labour and Tory ones are in it for the money, and are not motivated by any ethical questions.
azzuri

jamesieboy wrote:
Let's face it, the politicians especially the Labour and Tory ones are in it for the money, and are not motivated by any ethical questions.


David Davis?
Reluctant Hero

Quality, quality TV last night.  Eric "In A Pickle" Pickles the Tory Chairman was trying to justify his second home on Question Time last night even though his constituency is just 37 miles from the Commons.

The reason he gave was that he needed to get to Parliament on time because his meetings started at 9 o'clock.

Welcome to the real world mate!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/question_time/7967561.stm
Alasdair

I heard that this morning on the radio, my particular favourite bit was about the burden of having to drive so far to work ... presumabely companies everywhere will now be buying flats for all their staff who have 'arduous' journeys to work and who, heaven forbid, have to arrive on time!

What an arse.
Lord Pitsligo

Reluctant Hero wrote:


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/question_time/7967561.stm


I love the contempt on the face of the other panelist!
Reluctant Hero

Is there no end to this fiasco?

Now seems the PM has been bleeding the system for all it is worth.  Don't see him going on Youtube to explain that one.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8039977.stm
Stevie

Expenses joke at GB's expense. Noses in the trough.

With kind permission from the Daily Mash, Neil Rafferty says I can quote as much as I like and as often as I like.

Following, J Lum's hand puppet management of the unfortunate Woolas on public TV(I say unfortunate because it's not his fault he works for dum dum), feeding him his lines to which he nodded like a beaten sad puppy AND GB's natural tendency to serve up a major daily screw up, I think The DM says it best...

The Daily Mash reports :
Quote:

BROWN ENGULFED BY EXPENSES SCANDAL AS POWER PASSES TO JOANNA

GORDON Brown was prime minister in name only last night as the machinery of state was transferred to New Avengers actress Joanna Lumley.

The new prime minister has magnificent thighs
Ms Lumley has now set up an interim administration in the drawing room of her Chelsea townhouse as she waits for the formality of a general election.

Mr Brown is expected to be finally dragged from office later today after it was revealed he has been paying his own brother £6,500 a year to dress up like a cleaning lady.

It also emerged Jack Straw, the justice secretary, claimed thousands of pounds in council tax for houses that he would quite like to live in, while communities secretary Hazel Blears used public money to buy tiny furniture for her vast network of burrows.


http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

Go there, read it, it's the funniest blog on the planet.
Reluctant Hero

The tourism minister has claimed £25,000 over a four year period for security patrols!  

This sentence is really starting to *!$%*!** annoy me.

Quote:
claims over a four year period had been made within the rules.


Yeah, the claims may have been made within the rules, but it doesn't make it any more palatable.  I seriously hope the voters hold these MPs to account and vote them out at the earliest opportunity.

While the average guy in the street is worrying about his next pay packet, these nobody's are fleecing the system for all it is worth, "because it is within the rules."
Aventinian

jamesieboy wrote:
Let's face it, the politicians especially the Labour and Tory ones are in it for the money, and are not motivated by any ethical questions.


The money really isn't that good, all things considered.

Reluctant Hero wrote:
Quality, quality TV last night.  Eric "In A Pickle" Pickles the Tory Chairman was trying to justify his second home on Question Time last night even though his constituency is just 37 miles from the Commons.

The reason he gave was that he needed to get to Parliament on time because his meetings started at 9 o'clock.

Welcome to the real world mate!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/question_time/7967561.stm


That was embarrassing and utterly shaming, and I say that as a member of the party.
Reluctant Hero

I actually agree Av.

What does the average politician get?  £60 - £70k.  Yet a CEO of an average company gets £100 - £200k?  There is an imbalance there somewhere.  However, that doesn't excuse their blatant abuse of the expenses system.
Stevie

One MP made the taxpayer pay for a bag of s***e.

A bag of manure actually.

Well done, whoever he is(a Tory as it happens), he's about to become famous.

The irony of us paying a s***e to buy a bag of s***e and making us pay for said bag of s***e will be lost on us all in the general hu haa of dum dum's general assault on the electoral senses.

However, this is how it works. We give them a huge amount of money to buy us a bag of s***e. We don't see or even smell this bag of s***e and in the end we will owe them money in increased taxes for having bought the bag of s***e that may or may not ever have existed.

This is all part of the government's s***e economic policies.

All the extra money we'll pay to the banks has disappeared and the money we pay for general services is disappearing too. Thank goodness they're sorting themselves out and organising huge public spending cuts. That way the circle of humiliation is complete.

"Vote for change", DC's catchy original slogan... BUT how about this, 'Vote for us, we'll buy you a bag of s***e'.

Dum dum will of course retort, you'll see a much smaller bag of s***e for your money under the Tories.

Does anyone else think these people are the enemy within?

Well at least today's dum dum f**k up is kicking him and his cronies and all the other Westminster excrementals in the groin area in instead of the public.
Stevie

£22,500 to dry rot treat a holiday seaside home... £75000 to pay for a flat (2nd home) when he lives 12 miles from Westminster parliament... £20,000 + for security in Soho... £37,500 for a flat(the things claimed for being physically too big to fit into the actual flat)..................

grunt grunt, sorting snort, grrrrunnt said Mr and Mrs. pig - we'll sue!!!

Now when explaining this to the children I suggest,

This little piggy went to a home improvements company;
This little piggy went to the seaside;
This little piggy went to a security firm;
This little piggy went to all sorts of shops;
And this little piggy went to jail?

... fraid not, these people make laws that elephant dick the lot of us but that entirely protect themselves from any penalty; unless that is, one of the pigs turns out not to be a pig but is in fact a scapegoat.  One is sure that dumble will find such an animal in his zoo.  One is also sure dummy will find a way to make the situation worse.

I know that doesn't seem possible but don't forget who we're dealing with here.

Every day in every way he gets worse and worse...
Reluctant Hero

A junior minister is the latest to be exposed in this expenses fiasco.

£20,000 claimed for essential house repairs barely 12 months after she was elected as an MP and 5 years after she had already lived in the house!!!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/n...es-for-20000-house-make-over.html
Stevie

Now it's the Tories...

One Tory has claimed more than £127,000 over a six year period.

The Tory shadow cabinet have been flipping gits just like the Labour Party.

D Cam looking haggard is blaming the system, as did dumble , as no doubt will Nick C.

I'd sure like to have just 0.01% of the expenses these public servants have claimed "within the framework of the rules of the system"... b******s.

The snouts are in the dirt.
Lord Pitsligo

Reluctant Hero wrote:

What does the average politician get?  £60 - £70k.  Yet a CEO of an average company gets £100 - £200k?  There is an imbalance there somewhere.  However, that doesn't excuse their blatant abuse of the expenses system.


CEOs work full time. MPs don't. I'm sure they get over £100,000 pro rata.
Reluctant Hero

Looks like David Cameron is trying to minimise the damage to the Tories by making his cabinet pay back dubious expenses claims.

Then Labour jump on the bandwagon and Hazel Blears who had initially denied "flipping" her second home, is now offering to pay back over £13,000 in Capital Gains Tax.  Unbelievable!.
Stevie

Quote:
IT'S THE SYSTEM THAT'S A PIECE-OF-s**t, THIEVING b****rd, SAY MPs    

THE system of parliamentary expenses is a corrupt, scum-sucking, piece-of-s**t, bastarding thief, MPs insisted last night.

Image
Hazel Blears has caused more violent retching than the winter vomitting bug
Members from all parties said the rules were a grubby, disgusting little scat-muncher and pledged a wide-ranging inquiry into how the system was somehow able to vote itself into existence in the first place.

As Labour proposed an independent audit committee in its latest deliberate attempt to miss the f*****g point, MPs spoke openly about how they had been abused repeatedly by the expenses system.


Kind permission from Neil Rafferty of   [url]http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/ [/url]  who allows me to quote as much and as often as I wish.




Daddy?

Mmn.

Why are those people on TV saying you took money that didn't belong to you?

AH... well, aherm, ehm... It's not me it's the system.

Was it your money?

No, but it became my money.

They say you broke the law.

Mmn, the law's a funny abstract thing open to many interpretations.

Daddy, did you break the law?

No, not at all, I make the laws, I can't break laws, if a law becomes unmanageable we simply change it.

Will you go to prison?

No, I was working within the framework of the rules of the system, did nothing untoward.

Daddy, will I still get my new pony?

Of course darling.

Oh daddy, I love you.

And  then he woke up...
Stevie

Watching the least popular man in politics on Sky News :

Gibbering on about how the system abused these unwitting MPs.  

Now he's doing his inappropriate grinning thing.

Now, Dumble looks like he's about to cry.

At least he's not doing his Churchill strut.  Still he's mumbling and grumbling that Labour MPs have done nothing wrong.

D Cam. listed many of his shadow cabinet ministers' expenses and said they would be paid back or said MPs will be out on their necks.

He's not doing as much to discipline his MPs compared to the Tories.  Yet another dumble moment where he'll be forced to follow D Cam.

Grumble mumble fumble tumble
Jumble rumble stumble dumble...
Stevie

The Daily Mash, need one say more  http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

Quote:
SORRY BROWN GETS BUCK NAKED    

THE war of political apologies escalated last night as prime minister Gordon Brown pledged all his clothes to a charity shop and began wandering about in the buff.


'Is THIS what you want? IS IT?' screamed Mr Brown
In his latest pathetic attempt to regain the initiative, Mr Brown said if politicians were to rebuild trust he must remove his underpants and become the living embodiment of their shame.

The bidding started yesterday afternoon when dozens of absolutely minted Tory MPs agreed to pay back the piddling small change they had spent on animal turds and moat polish.

Mr Brown responded saying Labour MPs would pay back twice as much, before Tory leader David Cameron said his party would pay back twice as much again and let poor people use their swimming pools at weekends.

Mr Brown then insisted that Labour would match the Tories pound for pound, let poor people use their pools seven days a week and lay on a free bar, including big bags of Kettle Chips.

Within minutes of Mr Brown's announcement Mr Cameron upped the ante by stripping to the waist and scrawling the words 'I AM A GREEDY s**t' on his chest before inviting a Macmillan nurse to hit him across the face with a cricket bat.

A day of high drama at Westminster ended shortly before 11pm last night as the prime minister held an impromptu press conference during which he removed all his clothes and stood silent and motionless with his hands on his hips as a single tear ran down one of the cheeks on his face.

Mr Cameron is now expected to tell his shadow cabinet to strip naked, get down on all fours and let unemployed people ride them around Trafalgar Square while thrashing their milky-white buttocks with a rolled-up copy of the Daily Telegraph.

Meanwhile, in a desperate bid to keep the story alive, the Telegraph is to reveal the supermarket receipts of random members of the public, starting tomorrow with you.

A spokesman said: "That's an awful lot of cucumbers for just one person, is it not?"


Thanks Neil.
Reluctant Hero

Looks like Gordon Brown has some balls after all.  And not just Ed Balls!  He has suspended Elliot Morley!

Quite right.  Saying that a £16,000 claim for a mortgage that was already paid off was a "mistake" is patronising to the general public.
Stevie

Having balls is not his problem, he just doesn't have any brains.

And incidentally I think my limerick is pertinent here since we're talking genitalia.


There was a wee man from Caerphilly,
Who was cursed with a big purple willy.
When asked why he had it,
He said it's his habit
To slap it whenever it's chilly.
Reluctant Hero

I think this table is fascinating!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_pol...avel&order=desc#expensestable
Stevie

You realise many of the headings for the columns are pseudonyms for : hookers, bar bills, casino expenditure, press bribes...

grunt grunt, wink wink.

Oh just saw dumble strutting about filled with self satisfaction that he suspended Morley.  I quickly realised his near state of cockiness about having canned the theivin' pustule was due to the fact that he had finally done something that worked.  "I suspended him and he stayed suspended! This truly is a wondrous happening."

Well maybe, he'll stay dead.  Ordinarily yes, but dumble has a gift for grasping defeat out of the jaws of victory.  I suspect 'dumble's law' will dictate that Morley rises from the dead and brings down parliament in a blaze of hideous zombie-politic glory.

In truth I see no possibility that Morley will bite back but dumble has a unique gift for the surprise f**k up.
Holebender

I'm quite surprised that David Marshall's name hasn't come up in all this expenses row. He was the Labour MP who resigned to trigger last year's Glasgow East byelection, amid rumours of having claimed half a million in expenses for his constituency office, which was the front room of his house.
Stevie

Finding difficulty pronouncing some words to describe the members(also known as little Richards) of parliament?  With so much of an onslaught of egitism we must be getting moron fatigue so to help you express yourselves here we go...

Right dears, are we sitting comfortably? Good, then we'll begin.

Just relax, lean forward slightly, close your eyes, concentrate really hard and just let go. There's really nothing quite like a good vowel movement. If you're having difficulty dears, it could be because you're a bit verbally constipulated... in such cases you might have to let out a little scream for words such as dumble, or a truly bowel twisting colon wrenching big scream for words like parliamentarian.

If you find either of these words difficult to stay without becoming constantibulated, just say pigs.


Oh incidentally, until someone says something nice or nasty about my Limerick, it is danger of reappearing from time to time.

There was a wee man from Caerphilly,
Who was cursed with a big purple willy.
When asked why he had it,
He said it's his habit
To slap it whenever it's chilly.

See, it just suddenly manifested itself again!
magister ludi

I fear that the man from Caerphilly,
is becoming increasingly silly;
a lalochezial rhyme
is funny, first time,
thereafter it's gilding the lily
Dave Coull

magister ludi wrote:
I fear that the man from Caerphilly,
is becoming increasingly silly;
a lalochezial rhyme
is funny, first time,
thereafter it's gilding the lily


Now  THAT  is funny!
Reluctant Hero

Looks like the expenses scandal is just about to get a whole lot worse.  It is now alledged that the fees office were encouraging MPs to overclaim on their mortgage payments.

Ben Chapman, a Labour MP, continued to claim for £1,900 a month when he was only paying £400 the Telegraph says.

I wonder if there will be a police investigation into this?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/n...olluded-over-mortgage-claims.html
Stevie

Just in case you've forgotten about the bankers (dumble's light touch economic chaos theory children)...

Quote:
NEGLECTED BANKERS PLOT SPIDER ATTACK ON BLIND KIDS

BANKERS are planning to post every blind child in the UK a poisonous tropical spider in a bid to reclaim their position as Britain's purest form of scum.


MPs are pathetic amateurs
In recent weeks the banking industry has watched helplessly as MPs took their place in the nation's hearts as the group they would most like to string up from a lamp-post or a sturdy local tree.

But now, under a plan entitled Taking It To the Next Level, bankers have plotted a sustained campaign which they insist will underline their status as the country's foremost purveyors of utter bastardry.

The spider plan, to be launched next week, will see the distribution of thousands of cat-sized arachnids, specially trained to scurry straight up a child's arm and bite it on the face.

The spiders will be sent out in pleasantly-textured boxes with the words 'chocolate buttons' written on the front in Braille.

A spokesman for Lloyds TSB said: "You, the snivelling public, with your obsession with trifling political sleaze and vibrating chairs, had almost forgotten us hadn't you? Big, fat, f***ing mistake.

"By the time we're finished with you, destroying your pensions and drowning the nation in debt will seem like a quaint, 1950s tea dance."

He added: "I just wish we could be there when they open the box."


THE DAILY MASH


A bigger bunch of b******s?
Reluctant Hero

I really, really hope Hazel Blears, experiences the Portillo moment in the next general election.  She, in a dwarf sized nutshell, sums up what the Labour Party is all about these days.
Lord Pitsligo

Reluctant Hero wrote:
I really, really hope Hazel Blears, experiences the Portillo moment in the next general election.  She, in a dwarf sized nutshell, sums up what the Labour Party is all about these days.


I remain optimistic about Gordon Brown!
Lord Pitsligo

It seems the expenses row may have an element of self correction to it:

MP's fears of expenses 'suicide'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8063005.stm
Reluctant Hero

Lord Pitsligo wrote:

MP's fears of expenses 'suicide'


I suspect that is to try and make us feel sorry for them!  

I doubt if Anthony Steen will need a suicide watch!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8062786.stm
Lord Pitsligo

Reluctant Hero wrote:
Lord Pitsligo wrote:

MP's fears of expenses 'suicide'


I suspect that is to try and make us feel sorry for them!


Not even if every one of them tops themselves  Mad
Holebender

Oh, you're all just jealous!

You probably envy that fine suntan too.
Lord Pitsligo

Holebender wrote:
Oh, you're all just jealous!


By that reckoning I'd be jealous of a thief that got away with my wallet as well  Wink
Stevie

magister ludi wrote:
I fear that the man from Caerphilly,
is becoming increasingly silly;
a lalochezial rhyme
is funny, first time,
thereafter it's gilding the lily


Thank you, just to be noticed was all that I asked.  I like yours.
Stevie

Reluctant Hero wrote:
Lord Pitsligo wrote:

MP's fears of expenses 'suicide'


I suspect that is to try and make us feel sorry for them!  

I doubt if Anthony Steen will need a suicide watch!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8062786.stm



Jump!!!!!
Reluctant Hero

Apparently the man who gave the info to the Daily Telegraph has come forward.  But how he got his hands on the info is still a mystery.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8064731.stm
Stevie

Sir Peter Viggers "Ashamed and humiliated" over expenses claim for Duck House.

A question put to him is : "Was this the duck's first home or second home?"

Not my joke but I like it.

Still none of the buggers have jumped from a high ledge of their second homes yet.

The poor dears, the pressure must be awful for them.
Reluctant Hero

I've lost count of the number of MPs who have said that they won't be standing at the next election, because of expenses or otherwise.

Former Labour Party Chairman, Ian McCartney is the latest one.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/...LeqM5jnl6or1o_HMRoAC77YwX9yr9Hu8w
Holebender

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29cB075cqks&feature=channel_page
Stevie

The Telegraph (I think it's this paper) has said 325 MPs will be deselected for the Westminster elections.

Still, none of them are going to prison.  


Mmmn... yet.
Reluctant Hero

Quote:
Bromsgrove MP Julie Kirkbride has defended her controversial expenses claim, said she would "dearly love" to be re-elected but suggested she will not stop employing family members or pay back any cash.

"I still think I have a lot to offer. I would dearly love to be re-elected to a job I simply adore. But it is not a decision for me, first and foremost it is for my local party," she said.

However, she said she would not be attending the meeting called in her constituency on Sunday to discuss her situation because it was the day she spent with her child.


I would suggest that with an attitude like that, it won't be long before she is looking for alternative employment (as will her sister  Wink )

http://page.politicshome.com/uk/k...dearly_love_to_be_re_elected.html
Holebender

This from today's Herald:
Quote:
On a party visit to Tyneside, Gordon Brown pledged that politics would be cleaned up. "We are never again going to have a situation where MPs are put in this position, where they sign their own expenses and have to do it all on their own and getting into mistakes which then have to be corrected."

Notice the poor MPs were put in this terrible position (by whom?). The dears couldn't help themselves because it was the system wot done it guv.

Yet another nail in Broon and Labour's coffin.
Stevie

Evidently, dumble doesn't think simple logic and simple arithmetic are prior requisites for a Labour Party MP.

Well, isn't that a surprise.
Reluctant Hero

Looks like all the disgraced MPs are clinging on until the next election in order to receive massive payoffs, pensions etc.

Kick them out now!!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/n...ng-down-in-line-for-pay-offs.html
Stevie

Well, it goes on : apparently A Darling decided to get into a spot of apartment letting.

I think it will be rich to hear politicians commenting on illegal behaviour while legislating against citizens.

E.G. : I personally don't like cannabis (people on it speak a ton of s***e) but the honourable members criminalise people who've never purloined, stolen or borrowed a penny in their lives if they're caught smoking it.

The comedy is not yet ended : still at least 10 days of revelations from the Telegraph to come.

Et tu Darling.
Stevie

MORI POLL

The Labour party are neck and neck with the Libs both at 18%.

The Tories are down 1% to 40%.

I said that I thought that the drop to 23% was a blip. I still do but one wonders if dumble will stay till the Labour Party hits single figures.

I still think that it's mighty peculiar that voters can so easily switch between Labour and Tory (in England - don't think it will be the same in Scotland, but I never thought the Labour Party would be fighting for 2nd place with the Libs.

It's all good fun.

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