| Archive for Our Scotland - www.our-scotland.org Scottish Politics Discussion Forum / Messageboard - Dedicated to online discussion about Scottish Politics and an Independent Scotland, as well as Scottish Society today. We also have a section dedicated to Banter, Sport and Recommended Sites. |
| Babygael |
For BlackAdder,from yer subjects m'lud!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBEYyHGbwto
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| Blackadder |
Expect a timed explosion in your post soon. |
| mairead |
Blackadder,
Geez it's great to see you back. You have been soooo badly missed. Luv Ya. |
| Blackadder |
Don't be impertinent and mindful of your place, peasant! Just because I find cause to allow you to communicate with me, do not seek to take it to your advantage. And believe me ... I did not miss anyone from this board one little whit. One does not consider the lower orders as anything except as a tool, similar to one for taking a stone from your horses hoof! I never separate the heifers from the herd.
And you will refer to me as 'my gracious Lord Blackadder' in future. |
| macnumpty |
Eeeeexcellent... BA has returned, the circle is complete.
Though I can see I'm going to have to change from my gentle, 'mountain guardian'-style approach to this board, and resume my 'stern nanny' approach. Remember, no sweets after seven, or there'll be tears before bedtime! |
| Blackadder |
I see the witterer McNumpty is still hanging around. Has he had his bananas yet? |
| macnumpty |
I am quite hard to shift, BA, as you no doubt realise!
And I have not had as many bananas as I would have liked. 
|
| Blackadder |
The amount of bananas can be arranged very easily from my holdings in Colombia, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Guatemala, Honduras, Panama, Mexico, or Nicaragua.
I can even arrange for you to be fed copiously, even when you think you've had enough. I'm positive space can be found for another .... and another! |
| macnumpty |
Ah, but BA, it depends on whose bananas they are. Perhaps I'm being too choosy? |
| Blackadder |
Your choice has no bearing in the matter. Peasants do not know how to choose quality anyway. You people usually buy Chiquita and/or Fyffe. But why not? I'll be magnanimous ... so be my Geest and tell us. |
| macnumpty |
The producer of the banana is irrelevant. If the man offering the banana presents an attractive product in an enticing package, I am tempted to acquire it. Though my attractiveness and enticement thresholds may be too high. |
| Blackadder |
Wouldn't matter since you would not have a choice. Think "chair", "chains", "force-feeding" and you'll be close to an approximation of the scene playing in my mind. Oh yes ... now I'm seeing pincers and fingers! |
| macnumpty |
Either we are talking about two very different subjects, or I have to tell you that I'm not into that kind of thing! |
| Blackadder |
Neither am I. But my Bolivian friends do like to involve themselves in other people's welfare ... and ruin them through the application of the tools of the Inquisitor's trade. |
| macnumpty |
But, BA, the Bolivians are on my side now. Peasant-to-peasant logic is quite wonderful.
|
| Blackadder |
Yes, of course. You carry right on thinking that!
Ask your family to pray for you! |
| carol |
what happened to the season of good will BA? what a grouch! |
| Blackadder |
If I want to be The Grinch, I'll damn well BE the Grinch ... and you can go whistle madam!!! |
| carol |
you're not appealing whatsoever |
| mairead |
Well his sense of wit and humour does appeal to me. |
| carol |
you must be easily pleased
he or she is not what you would be looking for to brighten up a dull day macnumpts is more entertaining
|
| carol |
bloody h*** I'm above BA |
| Blackadder |
Maybe Carol can't whistle?
And you will never be above me, madam. At least not when it comes to class. You're obsession with the peasant, McNumpty has been noted and passed over to Our Scotland Psychiatric Division! |
| carol |
 you're nuts
I'm fussy what I whistle at |
| macnumpty |
BA, I'm not a peasant, I'm trailer trash. There's a difference!
|
| Blackadder |
That's a generalisation ... and all generalisations are false, including this one. |
| macnumpty |
No it's a recategorisation. Do keep up, boy!
And by the way, 87.2% of statistics are made up on the spot. |
| Blackadder |
Statistically ... it's more like 42.7% of all statistics which are made up on the spot ... but then, 5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions! |
| mairead |
Ah, back to the good old days now that BA has returned. Meaningless diatribe and insults. Great. |
| Blackadder |
Mairead, blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. |
| macnumpty |
Ah, but Mairead, this is precisely the kick up the jacksy that the 'How Many Pages?' thread needed! |
| Blackadder |
The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved. - J. Russell Lynes
And with the denizens of these boards, well deserved ... and never deserved more!!! |
| Blackadder |
What? Has no-one though of topping that last post yet?
Numpties ... I'm on a board full of numpties! |
| mairead |
well if people can't laugh at themselves then they have no right to laugh at others.
BTW. Sticks and stones and all that BA.
|
| Blackadder |
And there it is ... the chief Numptess herself! |
| mairead |
'Twonk' 'Numpty' etc. Well when all wlse fails try insults
(but they don't work either) |
| Blackadder |
You'd think so ... but they must do something, since you and Carol do it a lot! |
| mairead |
aha, so our wee digs have been noted by you then
|
| Blackadder |
Your "digs" are so old, they've got archaeological tags fixed to them! |
| mairead |
Well, you must be that old too, cos you understand them. |
| Blackadder |
Never said I did! It takes ages trying to work out what the pair of you of witter on about! It's like a whole 'nother language with you two. An archaic one at that!
Luckily I did my Masters in Archeology. |
| mairead |
'Witter on' no no no . We ladies have intellectual discussions, although I do understand that it is beyond your feeble comprehension, after all, you are a man, but, we will make excuses for you. |
| Blackadder |
So you say ... but the only things that really matter to women are ...
1) What colour lippie to wear. 2) Does your bum look big in whatever shroud you've decided to wear for the day! Intellectuals. Ha!
|
| mairead |
Have you ever listened to a couple of men having a pint at a bar. My lord, but when it comes to wittering, they take the biscuit.
yak yak yak, football, golf, football, rugby etce etc
Anyway, what's wrong with the ladies wanting to look nice? |
| Blackadder |
Nothing at all ... if they look like what we men want them to look like. A category you and Carol no longer fit into ... for lots of reasons!
|
| mairead |
Strange comment from one who has never seen either of us, don't you think.
I think your mental images of us have let you down a bit there.
|
| Blackadder |
Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game. It seems your game is more than a bit off! |
| mairead |
Life has dealt me a mixed hand so I'm happy enough |
| Blackadder |
I think you've been playing SNAP!!! |
| mairead |
Oh, I take it you know the game well then? My memory does not take me back quite THAT far. |
| Blackadder |
I'm young enough to recall playing some silly card games. But I was banned from them after I ruined my Dad's pack.
He was teaching us (my siblings) to play poker one particularly cold night in the old sitting room (it's now just another day-room) and old Balders (Baldrick's dad!) had stoked up the fire so we were all warm and happy just cos Dad found time for a game with us. However, I was not all that familiar with card-terminology. When I picked up a card and showed it to him, he told me not to use that one. What he actually said was "Burn it!" A term I soon learned meant, "Put that one away!" I however, took him at his word and threw it in the fire! It was crisped instantly!  Dad and siblings weren't best pleased. But my mum and two Aunties saw the funny side and howled with laughter. I was just confused.
So I no longer play childish card games. And in the casinos, I let others handle the cards. I learned my lesson! |
| mairead |
LOL Kind of thing I probably would have done myself.
|
| Blackadder |
Oh good! I'm glad I'm not the only eejit on the boards ........ apart from Carol!
|
| mairead |
Oh, I can be as big an eejit as the next one, Trust me.
Horses for courses and all that. LOL |
| Blackadder |
My horses usually come in on time. The gee-gee man pays out a good whack on them quite regularly! |
| mairead |
Only laid a bet once and that was many years ago on a horse called Foine Avon in the Grand National. The odds on it winning were enormous and everyone laughed at my choice.
I got the last laugh though, when nearly all the other horses went down at beechers and little Foine Avon ran across the line first. Seeing all the other horses go down though, put me right of betting again, especially in the national which I rate as cruelty to animals. |
| Blackadder |
My mother won a stack on Foinavon. She nearly broke the local bookie. He was always understandably very nervous when "Lady B" sent Old Balders in with her bet.
The minimum I recall her betting was £25K. I was about six when I first saw the man nearly defecate himself over that bet! |
| mairead |
Hope she laid the £25k on Foinavon then. She'd have had the bookie out of business that day alright. Suicidal even. LOL |
| Blackadder |
She rarely gambled under £5K a week. Until the sanitarium fixed her. I suspect dad had her doped to prevent movement of any kind. |
| mairead |
True to form for the Blackadders then. LOL |
| Blackadder |
Oh we don't change much over the centuries ... blackguards to a man!!!  And that's just the women!
|
| mairead |
Aye, we women are the best at everything and easily excel the men.
I've been trying to tell you that for ages
|
| Blackadder |
In this instance ... I'll agree completely! |
| mairead |
Agree! Nice! My my, there is hope for you yet then. |
| Blackadder |
Once again ... you misread the intent of my post. |
| mairead |
Well if you can't write with clarity it's not my fault now, is it? |
| Blackadder |
My clarity is just fine. Once again ... it's your perception that's always at fault! |
| mairead |
Oh I see. pardon the pun |
| Blackadder |
The pun is mightier than the word. The word is made flesh. Cook till tender! Consume!
|
| mairead |
Whit?????? |
| Blackadder |
It's called a non sequitur. |
| mairead |
It's called damned rubbish or even psycho-babble actually.
|
| Blackadder |
No ... go look it up. The Americans would say " came out of left-field".
See how you learn new things from Lord Edmund? Aren't you lucky? |
| mairead |
Still a load of twaddle and psychobabble even it is in the dictionary. You should put the dictionary away and stop googling and use your brain instead, like I do.
|
| Blackadder |
It's not much of brain you've got, is it? A frog somewhere is hopping about minus its grey matter! |
| mairead |
Frogs! Really BA. I would have expected a somewhat more intellectual reply from you. |
| Blackadder |
So would I have. But there's a frog sitting on the piano and screaming at me to get its brain back from you! |
| mairead |
Well, give it a message from me. It's looking in the wrong place, in fact, if it's sitting looking at you, that should tell you something. |
| Blackadder |
It did! I think it's trying to sing the frog chorus but dropped one of its "Bomms" when it should have "Bumm"ed instead! It's giving me the fecking creeps! |
| mairead |
Squash it with your music sheets. |
| Blackadder |
I play from memory. |
| mairead |
Moi Also. |
| Blackadder |
Yes ... but I'm classically trained. I'm not limited to Chopsticks like yourself!
And that frog is still here! Did you send it to annoy me? |
| mairead |
Sssh. It's one of my little familiars. If you attempt to squash it there will be dire consequences for you. You have been warned. |
| Blackadder |
I shall inform the office of Witchsmeller Pursuivant in the House of Lords about you immediately ... and start the peasants collecting faggots to burn you with.
Yoohoo ... Macnumpty??? |
| mairead |
Listen you plonker, your colleagues in the HoL would have to catch me first and by the time they do, the faggots will be turned into coal.
Anyway, I wouldn't burn. I'd just turn myself into a puff of smoke and drift quietly away. Ever tried catching a puff of smoke.
|
| Blackadder |
No I haven't ... Macnumpty on the other hand may know more about puffs than either of us! |
| mairead |
So you noticed my first change then, From a frog to a toad. |
| Blackadder |
Yes ... I also spotted the intermittent stage when it was a FROAD!!! |
| mairead |
Wait till you see what I do next. |
| Blackadder |
I'll sell tickets immediately! |
| mairead |
Half of what you get is mine then. |
| Blackadder |
Depends on whatever it is you're planning to do. It better not be messy. The piano room was only freshly painted two months ago. We had to lock Baldrick away so he wouldn't drink the paint! |
| mairead |
Did You not find the wee snake under the bed then. The toad has changed. |
| Blackadder |
Ummm ... dunno wot you're on about!
I caught Baldrick slipping the toad a glass of milk and a biscuit last night! He thinks it could be his late father under a witch's curse. It's been a devil of a job trying to stop him from kissing it into humanity!!! I blame YOU entirely for this! |