Funny Stories

mairead · Funny Stories

Does anyone have any funny stories about things that have happened to them?

Blackadder

I would be here all day!!! Evil or Very Mad

Babygael

well I have a small one which suddenly sprung to mind,just to start your thread off.

Actually I was stunned by this at the time but now i can see the funny side.........Every now and then I take an elderly lady i know out for a day,we sight see and go to different beaches, have lunch and best of all laugh all day like eejits!! one day we had been driving around going here and there when we came upon a public loo, so I said that i had to go and did she want to come along too?

She looked at me kind of sheepish like and said,"well, you know dear,I had been happily married for x amount of years,and although I'm not knocking it, i don't think I will go to the toilet with you!"

This was said in deadly earnest and she was trying really hard not to offend. At first, I had no idea what she was going on about and I just sat there dumbly,staring and then it dawned on me what she was saying!! Embarassed

Then I had to explain that I only wanted to know if she wanted to use the bathroom now that we were near one! her turn for a red face!! Embarassed

After the shock waves and red faces had passed, we laughed the rest of the day over that! Shocked

Blackadder

On my first trip to Greece as a rebellious youth, I was on the ferry from Piraeus to Thera (Santorini), getting drunker and drunker on the ouzo. Thing is ... at school we were taught Greek and I was trying it out ... so I was asking the barmen for "Δύο ouzos και η θάλασσα παρακαλώ" ... "Theo oozo kay thalassa parakahlo" or "Two ouzos and water, please!" in English. I didn't understand why they found this very funny. Evil or Very Mad

It wasn't until I made a few Greek friends I discovered I had been asking for "Two ouzos and the sea please!" The Greek for water is nehro "νερό".

My problem is that I had been taught Ancient Greek! Which isn't what they speak now!! Embarassed

There is a further part to this story ... I'll tell it later! Twisted Evil

kathyv

Luckily they didn't take you seriously Blacky and hand you 2 glasses and throw you overboard! (You want the sea, here it is!)

Mine. . . . a couple of years ago the High School History teacher's wife went into labo(u)r just before his class began. I happened to be in the staff room when he got the call and I told him, "Just go, I'll do your class!" He handed me the Lesson Plans, the answers to the test they were to take and left. When his class began, I passed out the test booklets, told them the specs for the test and set them to it. When the time was up I began to give the answers, the test began with matching, then to true/false and then to matching again. I transitioned into Matching Answers #2 by beginning with "The next bit of matching is. . . " HOWEVER, It came out "The next b***h of matting is. . . "

There were a few giggles, and a lot of grinning, then I realized what I'd said, laughed about it, then they burst into real laughing as well.

I'm glad I work with such nice kids, they could have been really mean about it for a long time if they'd wanted too. I think it helped to laugh first, it put them at their ease.

Blackadder

Continued from above ...

The ferry came into Portos Athinios, the main port of Santorini and as we were pretty-well pissed, we debarked post-haste. If you've never been there ... it's a shed and a jetty ... at the foot of the remains of the ancient volcano. Half an hour later ... the bus rocked up. And if you've ever seen those old films set in the middle east with ramshackle old buses laden with passengers and baggage and the more passengers travelling on the outside of the bus ... then that's a pretty good picture of what our bus looked like.

I remember getting on the bus as the darkness descended and that's about it. However, it transpired that I had been running up and down the bus during the trip into the island interior, shaking the driver and shouting "Speak Greek tae me! Ah want tae learn yir language!"

The next thing I knew, I was waking up on a rubbish heap covered in cardboard. Apparently, the sober passengers had wrangled me to the floor where I fell asleep. When they bus stopped they literally threw me off.

It wasn't until four days later, returning to the port sober, that I saw the road down from the top of the mountain was little more than a steep windey goat track ... and the top was about 1000 feet above water ... and the port! Shocked

I could have had that bus over and killed us in the dark!!!! I would not have blamed any passenger if they had shot me dead!!! Evil or Very Mad

Not a funny story, per se ... but in retrospect, you have to laugh ... Laughing

Don't you???

mairead

As the secretary to an organisation, I was once asked to write an email letter to a Count.
I duly wrote the letter, but omitted the o in Count, so you can imagine my horror when I realised what I had done...Toooo late, I had sent it. It was only when I read in in my save box that I realised my error.
My email began, My Dear C.nt.
Talk about horrified, I was mortified, but luckily the guy had a sense of Humour.

Blackadder

Years ago while working in an office (my dad forced me) I came across standard rejection letters to various applicants. I type in the names of Count Dracula and Baron Frankenstein. Then I got called away to do something and forgot all about them.

Two days later, a hunt was being organised for the person responsible for these letters. As an young aristocrat, I of course owned up rather than get anyone else in trouble (this was before my real education). I was hauled over the coals by the boss and given a reprimand before being sent off to think things over. After all, what would have happened in the people named had got those letters! No-one it seemed, appreciated that the people in question ... were entirely fictional!!! Go figure!

Blackadder

It seems like I just fell in and out of scrapes most of my younger life.

That same office I worked in ... I was very popular with the female secretaries. Well, apart from being naturally good-looking and fit ... I gave them the best shoulder rubs they ever had ... and if you're typing all day, you get knotty all along the shoulders ... or so I'm told!

Anyway, things got a wee bitty hot when afterr the welcome massage I got a hug from each of them! That led to a few "freedoms" that today wouldn't be tolerated. Soon after, at the beginning of the day, I was hugging all the ladies before work ... until what happened stopped me completely!

One morning, I walkied into the office and one of the ladies was at the photocopier, with it opened up to recieve a new ink drum. I walked up behind her, put my arms round her waist, snuggled in and said, "Morning sweetie!" .... and was horrified to see a pencil-thin moustache under "her" nose!

I was stammering apologies at the same time as the secretaries, who had been watching burst out laughing! I was mortified.

The young "lady" at the photocopier, just winked ....... and I fled!!! Embarassed

Never again! Evil or Very Mad

mairead

As a child I was apparently a bit wild, (or so I have been told).
The day before I was due to start at the primary school, my Aunty Nan said to my mother, "God help the teacher who gets that one,(me), she enough to give anyone a heart attack.
Anyway next day I got taken to school for the first time and returned safely home.
On the second day, Mother took me to the school again and was told to take me back home because my teacher had died in her sleep the night before, of a heart attack.
Poor old Aunty Nan, she nearly took one too when she thought about what she had said.

PS. I assure you it was mere co-incidence, honest..

Blackadder

Nah .... it was YOU! YOU did that, you old witch!!! Evil or Very Mad