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| Blackadder |
MaireadI've had some communications saying I treat Messheid pretty badly and I should stop because she is extremely old and deserves respect.Does this mean I should respect George Foulkes because he is pretty old?? I disagree ........ but what do you think? |
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| mairead |
Geez BA,
don't tell me someone thinks I take you seriously, anyway, I think I give as good as I get. If I am ever seriously offended, I would soon let you know, trust me, but I thank anyone concerned for considering me. That was a nice thing to do. PS. Blackadder, I'm nowhere near extremely old, just getting on a bit. |
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| Blackadder |
Do you think I have a face that cares??
You're just so easy ......... 
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| mairead |
You mean good humoured I'm sure. I haven't seen your face so couldn't comment on that. | ||
| Blackadder |
I've decided to stop calling you Messheid ... though it was entirely appropriate.
Instead, I'll call you what give me when you're on the Song Title Game thread ... Sairheid!!! 
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| mairead |
A well, a rose by any other name is still a rose. | ||
| Blackadder |
Only a woman would think that! | ||
| mairead |
That's cos we're the smarter sex. Didn't you know that when God made man, SHE was only joking. | ||
| Blackadder |
I don't believe in the age-old superstition of deities! And if you were the smarter sex ... it would be men would be having the babies!
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| kathyv |
HA! One cramp and you men would kill yourselves!
If men had children every family would have just 1 child. . . |
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| Blackadder |
If men were capable of bearing children ... cats would be the masters of the world by now!!! 
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| mairead |
It's a biological fact that women have stronger pain threshold than men, that's why we have the babies, men could never take the pain. Geez, some of them even faint when watching the labour of the womenfolk. | ||
| macnumpty |
Can you blame us? It's like the John Hurt scene in Alien! 
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| Blackadder |
With you there, Macnumpty. And on Star Trek: Voyager when Icheb detects a parasite in B'Elanna's body ....... you realise he's not far off the truth ... and in fact ... on to something.
Children = Parasites!!! Just ask this forum's version of a baby factory ... Carol!!! |
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| mairead |
I love children, I just despise Brats. | ||
| Blackadder |
They might not like you either!!! | ||
| mairead |
That's OK by me. The further away from me that brats are, the easier it is for me to resist the temptation to skelp a bum or two | ||
| Blackadder |
The further the better. Nowadays ... that's called abuse! | ||
| mairead |
Aye, and that's exactly why there are so many wee rats posing as children these days | ||
| Blackadder |
Starting with YOU!!!
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| mairead |
I'm a really genteel lady if you only knew me. | ||
| kathyv |
Look mairead, Blacky gave you a complement! He implied that you are young and precocious!
He's really a very nice person, we just need to chip through that crusty Medieval exterior! |
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| Blackadder |
I implied nothing of the sort!!! We all know she's a crusty old antique. And you're getting more and more like Cletus every day!!!
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| kathyv |
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/dd/Cletus.gif
Follow above link to see Blacky! heh heh heh
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| Blackadder |
I think as I made the connection first ... the link you provided leads to a facsimile of yourself. You are so not in my league! You're not even in the league below the one I'm in.
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| mairead |
Thank the Lord for that. Generations of my illustrious family have long overshadowed you Blackadders. | ||
| Blackadder |
No, they haven't. They've been telling you lies.
Which is why your family crest is that of a pork pie ... and the family motto is, "Quando in dubbio… trovi come un bastardo" which translates as "When in doubt ... lie like a b astard"!!! You just can't help yourselves!!!
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| mairead |
Oh I do believe your family motto. | ||
| Blackadder |
I posted up my family motto ages ago. Why don't you go look for it and keep your brain occupied! | ||
| mairead |
Pardon, I thought you were referring to your family motto above. | ||
| Blackadder |
No ... that's your family motto, dear ... and you ken it well!!
My family motto is "Nil Carborundum Illegitimi", somewhat loosely translated as .... don't let the b***ards grind you down ... which goes back to 1677. |
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| mairead |
Well, that motto might apply to me as I let no B.....d grind me down | ||
| kathyv |
Not 1066? |
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| Blackadder |
My family name came about in the 13th century, Kaffy ... as I wrote in a previous post less than a month ago!!!
Is your family motto "Non capisco" perchance???
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| mairead |
Now Now BA. Remember you are addresssing a lady. Where ARE your manners? | ||
| Blackadder |
No ... I'm addressing WITCHES!!!
Baldrick is collecting the faggots to burn wth you!!!
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| mairead |
heh heh heh, some hopes there. | ||
| Blackadder |
Oh I don't know .... Macnumpty's on that collection list ......... | ||
| kathyv |
Family motto. . . Pax
I guess I'm glad Poor Baladrick has something to occupy his time. It must keep him out of your reach for long periods of the day? |
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| Blackadder |
Baladrick???? Finger slipped??
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| mairead |
Nippy professor or what? | ||
| Blackadder |
Just an honest question. Move along now. Nothing to see here! | ||
| mairead |
Honest question my bum, You were nit picking over a typo error again
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| kathyv |
Perhaps by changing the spelling we can offer a bit of safety to Poor Baladrick, he can hide from you Blacky, in anonymity! | ||
| Blackadder |
You may think that if you like. I couldn't possibly comment! | ||
| mairead |
You couldn't possibly comment???? Why change the habit of a lifetime. | ||
| Blackadder |
I see! Went over your head with that one, eh??
It appears your ignorance is exceeded only by your extreme age!!!
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| mairead |
Yes, It went over my head right enough. I'm far too intelligent for infantile nonsense. | ||
| Blackadder |
And that's your standard response for ... "Help! Ah cannae think o' somethin' intelligent tae say!"
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| mairead |
Not at all. I can always think of something to say. Just like you though, some posts I prefer to ignore. | ||
| Blackadder |
But those I ignore ... are ignored with complete class! Something you've never achieved!
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| mairead |
Complete class my dear, is just one of the things you lack, I'm afraid. | ||
| Blackadder |
Which shows how your perceptions are dramatically reduced at your extreme old age.
So much so you don't know the difference!
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| mairead |
Oh but I do. Being raied with it, I can spot real class a mile away. Somehow, you just don't make the grade though, | ||
| Blackadder |
Mairead ...... the ony kind of "lady" you've ever been ... is a lady of the night!!! Your only experience of class is when one of my lot used to hire you of an evening when they were slumming it in downtown wherever!
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| mairead |
Hire me???!!! Your lot couldn't even afford me for an hour never mind an entire night. . I'm way out of the Blackadder league, sonny boy | ||
| Blackadder |
I'm afraid it's only the minor aristos for you. You couldn't even reach the giddy heights of the Blackadder League. And anyway ... we prefer younger, better-looking wenches with large bazongas ... and you are certainly not that!
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| mairead |
I wouldn't be giving such minority aristos a the Blackadders a second look, never mind any of my valuable time and hey my ' bazonkas ' have had no complaints so far. | ||
| Blackadder |
If you have "bazonkas" seek help ... They're not the same as "bazongas"!
So ....... just as a matter of interest ... how much do you charge anyway?? |
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| mairead |
More than you've got in the bank anyway, so don't be concerning yourself with lusting after what you cannot have. 
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| Blackadder |
Oh you do make me laugh! I WAS thinking of hiring you ... for Baldrick. He's never lain with a woman of any age .... you'd be perfect for him!!!
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| kathyv |
Uummmm, how do you know this? Maybe we don't want to know. 
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| mairead |
Well Kathy, he does think he knows everything about everyone doesn't he. | ||
| Blackadder |
When it come to Balders ... yes I do. I've known him since his ... mother, for the want of a better word ... birthed him on the floor of the cellar. My dear mother wanted him killed out of mercy .., but my father wanted him to be a good servant. Baldrick, however, soon proved to be a brainless clod ... like his fathers before him. I grew up with Baldrick ... he was like a faithful dog to me ... until the smell was unbearable and we put him in with the pigs ... until even they couldn't stand it.
So, yes ... I know that Baldrick has never had sex with another human being ....... |
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| mairead |
well I won't give you the answer you are anticipating. | ||
| Blackadder |
When it comes to Baldrick ... never anticipate. Just be clear and concise with commands and don't say please. He'll think that's a weakness and then ... well ... have a fast car ready to take you to hospital right away! | ||
| kathyv |
Are you sure you weren't swapped at birth? Kind of a Prince and the Pauper setting. . . . | ||
| Blackadder |
Don't get cute, Kaffy ... cos you're not! That's the problem with you septics ... you go too far!!!
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| mairead |
Oh my Blackadder, do we peasants forget to whom we are speaking. tch tch. | ||
| Blackadder |
Make your mind up, Mairead ... are you a peasant or not?? Though of course, you'll always be a peasant to me!!!
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| mairead |
It's ok. really it is.
I know who I am. Just like to come down to your level now and then and humour you. |
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| Blackadder |
You mean you are attempting to "do" to me what I have to do with you every post, every day?? You really have lost the plot, Mairead. But it's okay. We make allowances for your age and befuddlement!
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| mairead |
Oh Gee, Thanks. You are just tooooo kind, Wallyheid. | ||
| Blackadder |
Are you having a bad morning, Mairead?? You don't seem to be putting much thought into your retorts. Can I help??
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| mairead |
No. I never have bad mornings. I always wake up happy, just a bit tired this past few days. The bloody constant heavy rain is getting me down I think. My entire garden is awash. | ||
| Blackadder |
The gardens here are like that too ... and the Maze looks quite bedraggled ... but with more rain forecast, I'm leaving it all to the staff and going back to bed!!!
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| mairead |
Lordie, Saturday was just unbelievable here. It ranged between huge raindrops and hail and the wind was horrendous. | ||
| Blackadder |
Same here. My gardeners and other servants are having a hell of a time out in the grounds. Six trees went over and roof was torn off a shed. The greenhouses are a mess and the pond is overflowing. There's just so much recovery-work to be done.
I don't often do it ... but the staff are all on double pay and bonuses to get things back to some kind of normality. It's on with the wellies and work-clothes for me today. If there's double-pay going, I'm going to earn it!!!
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| mairead |
Well it's dried up here a bit this morning. Don't you be overstetching your Lordly self now BA. I thought work and you kept well apart. | ||
| Blackadder |
Ooh ... me back! Me back! Bloody gardens ... I'm having them paved over as soon as possible!
Seriously, the staff worked wonders at getting things back to rights. The animals were safe enough in the wet weather enclosures, but their outdoor sheds and huts will have to be replaced. Then there's two basements flooded ... though we got to the wine cellar and secured that okay. Wasn't looking forward to shelling out much before Christmas, but I figure I'll have to spend a five figure sum to get everything back to normal and up the standards a little more. And then I'm sending the staff to Malta for a week in November, all expenses paid, with extra wages to spend too. They deserve it for all their work in securing the Manor and lands, despite the bumbling efforts of their Lord and Master, trying to be Mister Fixit! I really should just let them get on with it. They know their jobs better than I do. And we found Baldrick late last night, hiding in the sub-basement cellar of the East Wing. He's always been terrified of the Rain-Witches coming to get him. He's sleeping with the pigs now because they don't mind him too much! And I am just lounging around doing nothing! I deserve a break too!
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| kathyv |
Wow, Blacky, your staff must love you about now!
Have you considered sealing the basement, holding the water in and creating an indoor swimming pool? You can heat it with an electric heater! Just plug it in, drop into the pool and jump in after it! heh heh heh! No, that might be messy. Leave off the heater and just jump into the water, it shouldn't be too cold, being indoors. Beautiful weekend here, lots of sun but it is chilly, there are an abundance of spider webs floating around and sticking to things. |
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| Blackadder |
I already have a swimming pool, Kaffy.
And my staff have ALWAYS loved me!!! I'm known as the Lovable Laird locally!
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| mairead |
Now that is FUNNY
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| Blackadder |
Words are not necessary, so .......... 
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| mairead |
and to you as well.
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| Blackadder |
My. my, my .... our Lady Muck can get down and dirty when she wants, eh??
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| mairead |
I sure can. I was looking for something much ruder, but had to settle for that one. | ||
| Blackadder |
I'm sure! The real surprise is you didn't use that colourful language you're renowned for!
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| mairead |
Just give me time. | ||
| Blackadder |
Okay ............. how about 30 years in solitary??
Jeez ...... you women sure walk into my little word-traps, don't you!!!
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| mairead |
Wish I had 30 years left pal. | ||
| Blackadder |
So do we ...... then you could have 30 years in solitary!!!
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| mairead |
Bwahahaha. Don't you love me anymore? | ||
| Blackadder |
Don't give your mind a treat! You're way too old for me. And let's be honest ... given the choice, especially if you were the last woman on Earth ... I'd rather pick Baldrick!
Are you sure your last name isn't Miggins???
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| mairead |
so cruel, so very cruel. | ||
| Blackadder |
Actually, I'm being kind to you! Why let you labour so long under your strange delusions???
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| mairead |
God but you don't half love that word 'Delusions ' don't you. | ||
| Blackadder |
Yes ......... I inherited it from you!!!!
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| mairead |
Not at all, but your frequent use of the word is very indicative of your own delusional behaviour. | ||
| Blackadder |
And you're choice of words certainly shows up your particular psychosis!
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