SLG
|
Limerick gameOk, someone gives the first two lines of a limerick and everyone else has to complete it. When folk are bored of that one, someone else can post a new opening two lines.
Sound like it's worth a go?
Ok, I'll start:
There was a young man fae Dundee
Who wanted to be an MP
...
|
Babygael
|
Nice change SLG!
There was a young man fae Dundee
Who wanted to be an MP
Sae he wint doon tae Westminster
An became the Prime Minister
|
Blackadder
|
Where's your last line, BG?? Or didn't you read SLG's entire post? 
There was a young man fae Dundee
Who wanted to be an MP
He stood for election
(He'd hired much protection)
Thank goodness that man isn't me!!!
..........................................................
A female (we'll call Babygael)
Was always as slow as a snail
Till she got stuck to a car
Which took her quite far
But .... her remains are over there ... in a pail!!
Only kidding!!!
..........................................................
Here's the next one with first two lines ... next poster must complete it, then write first two lines of THEIR limerick ... and so on ...
A lassie fae the island o Skye
Once baked an electric eel pie .......
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Babygael
|
Aye ye'r right BA ah dinna read it properly!  
Ther' wis a young man fae Dundee
Who wanted to be an MP
Sae he wint doon tae westminster
Tae become a Prime Minister
Bit the engerlish,they dinna agree.
Next wan
A Lassie fae the Island of Skye
Once baked an electric eel pie.
She now glows like a worm
And walks wae a squirm
An' ainly the eel kens why!
|
Babygael
|
There wis a wee mannie fae Tain
Wit walked in a toga tae spain
|
Blackadder
|
There wis a wee mannie fae Tain
Whit walked in a toga tae Spain
His feet were aw lumps
Fae hittin the bumps
So he's no goin back there again!!!
Okay ... next up ....
McNumpty wis feelin real doon
His next post wis gauntae be soon ....
|
Babygael
|
MacNumpty wis feeling real doon,
His next post wis gauntae be soon,
Bit he took a real chance
Hitched a car ride tae France
Bit ended up in down town Kowloon!
Ok!
Ther' wance wis this pair englishment
Wae crossed a Scotsman's path
|
Blackadder
|
One feels you haven't quite grasped the essentials of building a Limerick, BG. The first two lines and last line must rhyme. Only the middle two take on a different rhyming cadency.
Please re-examine your first two lines and fix accordingly.
By the way ... one assumes you were on the hooch when you started typing ...
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Xcotty
|
Got to have a wee go at this 
There was a wee monkey from France
Who thought he should learn how to dance
He found a good teacher
a beautiful creature.....
|
Babygael
|
Hahahaha BA Very funny!! Just because you can't take up a challenge you must resort to below the belt comments! SIGH! And no, no hooch how about you??? 
Where was I?Oh yes (if yer want something done......!) 
Ther' wis aince this engerlishment who crossed a Scotsman path,
Said he: "Oh I say, I say old chap,is this the road to Bath?"
Ach no its no ye engerlish loon! Ah think ye've lost yer wye
sae tak yersel back tae englant Toon, ONY time today!
A simple one fer BA 
While glancing in the mirror, BA turned a deathly white,
Suddenly,the air wis rent apart wit seismic shrieks of fright! 
Hi Xscotty, nice to have someone else joining in! As BlackAdder obiviously can't hack it and finds the going a bit tae steep fer hissel !
 Klingons rule!!!!
|
Blackadder
|
BG ... THAT was NOT in ANY circumstance a LIMERICK, which has DEFINED poetic rules and regularities which you in your usual self-blind ignorance have ignored. There was NO "below-the-belt" comments. I merely pointed out your failings at grasping simple essentials of the art of poetry and comic timing. If you can't play the game as it is meant to be played, then don't play at all! 
Hi Xscotty
You're only supposed to do the first TWO lines according to SLG who started the thread and therefore makes the rules ... but anyway ... let's see what we can do ...
There was a wee monkey from France
Who thought he should learn how to dance
He found a good teacher
A beautiful creature.....
And the dance turned into romance!!!
How's that ... Gimme more!
And now we turn to Babygael's proffered couplet albeit with edits to make it work ...
In the mirror, BA turned deathly white,
And the air wis rent with his fright!
Though his beard had turned grey
(Oh, what a horrible day!)
Well, at least ... it hadn't turned white!!!
And here's the next one ...
While waiting to see the doc
A woman (in a very nice frock) ...
btw ... Klingons SUCK!!!
|
Xcotty
|
Love this game, even if i got the rules wrong hehe.
I'll have another go in a bit.
By the way, i find Klingons are easy to cut off
with scissors. But careful down there, one slip
and poopsville 
|
Xcotty
|
While waiting to see the doc
A woman (in a very nice frock) ...
Felt she needed to poo
so run to the loo
But too late, she missed the pot
There was a young man from Dunoon
Who wanted to visit the moon......
|
SLG
|
| Xcotty wrote: | Love this game, even if i got the rules wrong hehe.
I'll have another go in a bit.
By the way, i find Klingons are easy to cut off
with scissors. But careful down there, one slip
and poopsville |
Lovely image that - cheers 
|
SLG
|
There was a young man from Dunoon
Who wanted to visit the moon......
He got in his car
And drove really far
But never got further than Troon
|
Babygael
|
Tisk! Tisk BA, suffering from PMS ??
Slg where's your twa lines lad???
|
SLG
|
| Babygael wrote: | Tisk! Tisk BA, suffering from PMS ??
Slg where's your twa lines lad??? |
Here you go, see what you can do with this one...
Jimmy was out on the water
When he got in a fight with an otter
|
Babygael
|
Jimmy was out on the water
When he got in a fight with an otter.
Took a hard slap tae the heed
Thought he wis deed
Noo he walks wae a pronounced teeter Totter!
Early wan morning atween twa or three
A knock on the windae en a vice say's"Its me!"
|
Blackadder
|
Much better, BG ... I applaud that one ... indeed including the previous ones from Xscotty and SLG ...
Early wan morning atween twa or three
A knock on the windae en a vice say's"Its me!
Ah ken ah'm ower auld
But ah'm oot in the cauld
Let me in or else ah wull freeeee ........!!!!!!"
Here's the next ...
On our-scotland.org things are fine
We like wrting things line by line ....
|
mairead
|
On our Scotland, things are fine
We like writing things line by line
But oh, I've got a pain
'Cos of all this Blooming rain
So to sunny climes I think I will resign
Follow this now.
A fine lady who comes from Argyll
Thought she would make Blackadder smile
|
Babygael
|
A fine lady who comes from Argyll
Thought she would make BlackAdder smile.
So she bought him a lolly
made him feel jolly,
He'll be back for another in a while!
Jim whistled when he saw the water churn
suddenly his teeth flew oot intae the Burn
|
Rinty
|
uThough missing his wallies
he enjoyed a few swallies
Until the landlord called to adjourn
There was a big prick fae carntyne
who was always on the cheap wine
|
Babygael
|
There was a big p..ck from caryntyne
Who was always on the cheap wine
Wal ah thoucht it wis yew!!
Rinty man this is new!
I knew ah wisnae wastin' ma time!
Ah ken ye wis in ma heed
an' ye thoucht it wis deed!
|
Blackadder
|
... But a quick look though
Saw it wis completely true
Cos ah grew the thing frae a seed!
Deep in the heart of wir land
A piper wis leadin the band ...
|
Babygael
|
Deep in the heart of wir land
A piper wis leading the band.
he missed a few notes,
it sounded like goats
An' got hissel' into a jam!
Wee jim, a loon fae Inverness
Wint fashin' in his mithers dress
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Xcotty
|
Wee jim, a loon fae Inverness
Wint fashin' in his mithers dress
He went wading too far
and ruined her bra
Now the dress is a helluva mess
There was a young woman called Polly
Whilst shopping fell into her trolley
|
Babygael
|
There wis a young woman called polly
Whilst shopping she fell into her trolly.
it wis pickin up speed
she said "oh no indeed!"
so tae slow doon she deployed oot her brolly!
Auld Paddy fae Ireland sae green
dropped trou' an' mooned at the Queen
|
Blackadder
|
She saw up his ass
And as though it was glass
She knew where he came from and had been!!
We are some aliens from Venus
Who wonder why no-one has seen us ...
|
Babygael
|
That wis a guid wan BA!
We are some Aliens from Venus,
Who wonder why no-one has seen us.
our teeth we do grind,
cause we think they're blind,
but really, they're a different Genus.
Wee Jimmy who came from Moidart,
Eating beans tae him wis an art
|
Xcotty
|
Wee Jimmy who came from Moidart,
Eating beans tae him wis an art
But one day he choked
and the poor bugger croaked
leaving the world with a fart
A dog with a hellish long tail
got stuck in the slime of a snail
|
Babygael
|
Happy new year Xcotty
A dog with a hellish long tail
Got stuck in the slime of a snail.
It made walking a chore
and it smelt like manure.
Och,everyone who approached turn pale!
Saucy little Ida May,
Stuffed her face on Christmas Day
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Xcotty
|
Happy New Year Babygael
Saucy little Ida May,
Stuffed her face on Christmas Day
She licked some sugar from her lips
and nearly choked on orange pips
But Ida May, is now OK
There was a wee doggy from Ayr
Who walked all the way to the fair
|
Fidget
|
There was a wee doggy from Ayr
Who walked all the way to the fair
It took it five hours,
amid rain and snow showers,
and it then fell asleep on the flair.
|
Babygael
|
That was xlent Friget!  What are your opening two lines for the next one?? 
|
Fidget
|
| Babygael wrote: | | That was xlent Friget! What are your opening two lines for the next one?? |
oh sorry! I get it now - I start the next one! 
There once was a girl called Michelle,
Who was pretty but really did smell,
|
Babygael
|
There once was a girl called Michelle
who was pretty but really did smell,
She wuidnae hev a hope
'cause she dinnae hev soap,
onywan comming near ran like hell !!
Auld Angus Macfungus went lookin' fer his coo'
It wis in the field bit it wisnae there noo',
|
Xcotty
|
Auld Angus Macfungus went lookin' fer his coo'
It wis in the field bit it wisnae there noo',
A spaceman had come,
and poked at its bum
So over the moon, the coo, it had flew
There was a wee hedgehog, called Rick.
Got confused as to which was his prick. ....( )
|
Fidget
|
A fine lady who comes from Argyll
Thought she would make Blackadder smile
But in the dead of night,
she turned him chalk white
And wouldn't be black for a while
In a bar not that far from the Borders,
The owner was calling last orders,
|
Xcotty
|
| Fidget wrote: | A fine lady who comes from Argyll
Thought she would make Blackadder smile
But in the dead of night,
she turned him chalk white
And wouldn't be black for a while |
(Oye Fidget loving your work, but you huvnae used my lines)
|
Xcotty
|
In a bar not that far from the Borders,
The owner was calling last orders,
He tripped over a dog
fell headfirst doon the bog
The poopline went up to his shoulders.
Young Jimmy tripped over his lace,
and a cowpat smacked him in the face
|
Fidget
|
doh! I was at the bottom of the first page... I'll get the hang of it yet!!!
There was a wee hedgehog, called Rick.
Got confused as to which was his prick,
Then one day on the road,
down he was mowed,
by an escort driver called Mick.
Me noo!
In a bar not that far from the Borders,
The owner was calling last orders,
|
Xcotty
|
In a bar not that far from the Borders,
The owner was calling last orders,
He tripped over a dog
fell headfirst doon the bog
The poopline went up to his shoulders.
Young Jimmy tripped over his lace,
and a cowpat smacked him in the face
|
Fidget
|
| Xcotty wrote: | In a bar not that far from the Borders,
The owner was calling last orders,
He tripped over a dog
fell headfirst doon the bog
The poopline went up to his shoulders.
|
Young Jimmy tripped over his lace,
and a cowpat smacked him in the face,
But the cow wasn't done,
And out more did run,
At a very unfortunate pace!
|
Xcotty
|
Two more lines Fidget buddy, you keep forgetting
|
Fidget
|
oh aye. Forgot. 
The was an auld wummin fae Spain,
Who moaned aw the time aboot the rain,
|
Xcotty
|
There was an auld wummin fae Spain,
Who moaned aw the time aboot the rain,
It made her curly hair flat
Cos she hadny a hat
So she moaned,even more, what a pain.
A woman who had a glass eye,
Once coughed, it flew into the sky
|
Fidget
|
A woman who had a glass eye,
Once coughed, it flew into the sky
It came down with a splatter,
and yes it did shatter,
so instead she used an old pie.
(that's where the saying "pie eyed" comes from) lol!
Angus was out with his sheep,
Near a quarry really quite deep,
|
Xcotty
|
| Fidget wrote: | A woman who had a glass eye,
Once coughed, it flew into the sky
It came down with a splatter,
and yes it did shatter,
so instead she used an old pie.
(that's where the saying "pie eyed" comes from) lol!
Angus was out with his sheep,
Near a quarry really quite deep, |
Sorry for the interuption, but i just wet my pants Fidget
|
Xcotty
|
Angus was out with his sheep,
Near a quarry really quite deep,
With a leg in each welly
He pumped till he fell'y
and he ended up in s**t creek
(I made a new word..do you see?)
Young Ivor was eating a lemon
when he jumped on a train to Devon
|
Fidget
|
Young Ivor was eating a lemon
when he jumped on a train to Devon
And whilst munching the rind,
He was taken from behind,
By some bloke and his pals from Yemmen
As a rocket soared through the night,
Unaware of its forecoming plight,
|
Xcotty
|
As a rocket soared through the night,
Unaware of its forecoming plight,
Shot up Prince Charles bum
all he said was "Ho Hum"
But Camilla said, "Gosh what a fright"
A giraffe who's name was Drake
Woke up, with a stinking headache
|
Babygael
|
A Giraffe whose name was drake
woke up with a stinking headache;
He put it doon tae a lass
who said he'd be grass,
And who dared him tae swallow a rake!
Ah cannae think o' a thing tae say,
Pair me, ah jist want tae fly awa'!
|
Fidget
|
Ah cannae think o' a thing tae say,
Pair me, ah jist want tae fly awa'!
Granted was her wish,
but she tripped intae the fish,
and she was minging fer the rest o' the day.
Just as the sun was setting,
The auld man got caught in the nettin'
|
Babygael
|
Hey Fidge! 
Just as the sun was setting
The old man got caught in the nettin'
He whipped out his knife
And took his own life.
While all the time,his breeks he was wetting!!
The scots fight for freedom as of old,
While the engerlish fight for a hold
|
Xcotty
|
The scots fight for freedom as of old,
While the engerlish fight for a hold
But they cant get a grip
and are starting to slip
Ha Ha, now quit pinching our OIL
Babygael went walking one day
She saw a wee mouse run away
|
Blackadder
|
Babygael went walking one day
She saw a wee mouse run away
She stertit tae follae
But pickit up a half-sucked lolly
An stuck it in her gob right away!!
(hello sweetie!!!)
Lord Edmund was looking askance
It wasn't the time for romance ...
|
Babygael
|
Hi there sweet cakes!
Lord Edmund was looking askance
it wasn't the time for romance.
Realising his folly
He reached for his lolly
But it had all melted doon at a glance!
After quaffing many flagons of mead
His lordship rode off on his steed
|
Blackadder
|
After quaffing many flagons of mead
His lordship rode off on his steed
But riding over the course
He fell off his horse
And now the eejit lies deid!
Barny Rubble is still trolling the forum
And no-one has seen fit to pour him
|
Xcotty
|
Barny Rubble is still trolling the forum
And no-one has seen fit to pour him
a nice cup of tea
then he'll need to go pee
Then we lock all doors right behind him
(Are you amused young Barny?)
Young Barny, who wants to be Scottish
Has a talent that we really cant miss
|
Babygael
|
Young Barney who wants to be scottish
Has a talent that we really can't miss
He's got bells oan his breeks
And a grand pair o' cheeks
which he proffers fer his detractors tae kiss!
Lord cha patti wis really quite swanky
He wore silk and carried a perfumed hanky
|
Blackadder
|
Lord cha patti wis really quite swanky
He wore silk and carried a perfumed hanky
He ordered Indian food
Which was really very good
But unfortunately the cutlery was manky!
A presenter called David Hammond
Crashed into a car carrying Alex Salmond .....
|
Babygael
|
A presenter called David hammond
crashed into a car carrying Alex Salmond;
Noo' pair David was feeling real doon,
fae in his car he wis carrying Gordon Broon
Who wis thrown into a slimy green pond!
Tam the tinker wore pleny o' bling
He an' his good friend Chinaman Wong Ping
|
Fidget
|
Tam the tinker wore pleny o' bling
He an' his good friend Chinaman Wong Ping
Then their mate - Hu Flung Dung
On his mobile he rung
Another mate called Ha Ha Choo McLing
Hickory Dickory Dock,
A bloke by the name of Jock,
|
Babygael
|
Hickery Dickory Dock
A bloke by the name of jock;
From wifey he was estranged
she thought he was deranged,
As he sat all day playing wae his sock! 
Paddy O Riely after more beers than one,
Was often seen clicking his heels with aplomb;
|
Fidget
|
Paddy O Riely after more beers than one,
Was often seen clicking his heels with aplomb;
But, not knowing what it meant,
he thought aplomb was bent,
And on to his knees he was sent!
lol!
There once was a can of stella,
Caught the eye of a particular fella,
|
Babygael
|
Hi Fidge!!
There was once a can of stella,
caught the eye of a particular fella,
said he "If yer touch that thar beer
I'll mak yer feel queer
Yew'll be soon singing high akerpella! (????) 
From high in her castle keep, in Ar-guile,
Tae the lads, she threw many a smile;
|
Blackadder
|
From high in her castle keep, in Ar-guile,
Tae the lads, she threw many a smile;
And for a half dozen eggs
She'd throw open her legs
And have 'em all, one by one, in single file!
We knew there was gonna be trouble
Cos there was this guy, Barny Rubble
|
Babygael
|
Blackadder,you are more than naughty!!! 
We knew there was gonna be trouble
cos there was this guy,Barney Rubble
who's now come to grief
cause Azzuri oor chief
chucked him oot oan his bum oan the double!
BlackAdder aye, ye've gaun an' done it this time
Upsettin' a certain lady wae yer saucy wee rhyme! 
|
Blackadder
|
I beg your pardon? You mean he's gone??? How? Why?
I can get naughtier if called for!
BlackAdder aye, ye've gaun an' done it this time
Upsettin' a certain lady wae yer saucy wee rhyme
She pulled yer lim'rick tae bits
Cos it goat oan her t*ts
An' noo she's no' feelin' sae fine!!!
Aye, there's nae use annoyin' McNumpty
Cos man he kin get awfy humpty
|
Babygael
|
Naughtier? How's yer aches an' pains? You must be feeling better!
Aye,there's nae use annoyin'McNumpty
cos man,he kin get awfy humpty
Bit ah think he's pet
he disnae brak sweat
just gie him a hot cuppa tea!
Rapunzel.Rapunzel,whit ever have yer goat there?
Ach,ah thoat it wis rope bit ah see it's ma hair!! EEK!!
|
Blackadder
|
Babygael ... seriously ... you just aren't doing this right. Limericks unlike most poetry, does have a few relaxed rules about rhyme, metre and scan, but you're really taking some fast and loose liberties with them ... have you never read Aristotle's Poetics??? I'll finish this one (with changes for metre), but it's the last I'll do of yours if you can't follow the rules that do exist. You can do better ... I know because we've seen you do it in earlier pages. Or do you just go a bit daft on the grog?
Rapunzel, Rapunzel,whit huv ye goat there?
Ah thoat it wis rope bit ah see it's mah hair!!
Ah tried fur dreadlocks
But they're in a box
Under a trapdoor cut intae the flair!
Now I suppose Babygael is feeling a bit sick
Cos she'll be thinking I'm saying she's thick ....
|
Babygael
|
Not tonight big guy,I have a headache! Plus you nag!
|
Babygael
|
BlackAdder,you can NOT seriously think I wuid read " Aristotle's wotsits" dae yer???? Ah wuid rather be shot than be bored tae death!!
Now I suppose babygael is feeling a bit sick
cos she's thinking I'm saying she's thick...
But she knows yer just gass
so you can go kiss yer ass
An say goodbye tae yer D**k! (weel it rhymed!!)
Ah took a wee walk in a cool woodland glade,
Pixies an wee elves came oot oan parade
|
Blackadder
|
See?? You CAN do it when you're not rat-ass peevied! Then you went and spoiled it. The trick is to NOT use use too many words in the opening lines. The last line yes, cos that's the punchline! Look ....
Ah took a walk in a cool woodland glade
Pixies an elves came oot oan parade
They formed a ring
Tae dance and sing
And then screwed all night in the shade!
Babygael and Mairead will cry foul
Cos Blackadder will make them both howl .....
|
Babygael
|
BA, | Quote: | | And they screwed all night in the shade |
Weel ahm sorry BA but yer cannae dae "stuff" at NIGHT especially in the SHADE!
Yew can dae it WITH shades ...or with oot!! 
dae I hev tae explain everything????
|
kathyv
|
Babygael and Mairead will cry foul
Cos Blackadder will make them both howl
however against other's wit
BA Throws a fit
and runs off to cry into a towel!
hmmmmm?
What can be done in the shade
during the day in a glade. . .
|
Blackadder
|
Here we go again. Exlaining poetic licence to the common garden variety lesser-intellected Celtic Booby-burd. There IS a good reason for you to read Aristotle's Poetics, BG.
A glade is an open space in the woods or a forest. Therefore at night, one can be under the shade (shadow) of the trees in the moonlight.
And you can do lots of "stuff" at night. I much prefer it to "mornings"!
I rest my case (and let Balders carry it anyway!)
Kathyv .... I never do as you suggest in your rhyme .... I leave that to you women
What can be done in the shade
during the day in a glade. . .
Lots of stuff
Like diving for muff
Unless there is an elf-raid!
These limericks are turning quite blue
Oh what will the readers now do .........
|
Babygael
|
Celtic booby-burd??? Charmed I'm sure! I'm still not reading Aristotle's wotsits dodad ,Ian rankin,yes Arisfekin stotle? No!
I much prefer the Sea Eagle masel'!
These limericks are turning quite blue
Oh what will the reader now do
Och we cannae condone
while you lower the tone
we'll change it back tae the previous hue!
Kathv was chillin' doon by the sea
with a mysterious man and a playfull corgi (could be the other way around too )
|
ladyinthemists
|
Kathv was chillin' doon by the sea
with a mysterious man and a playfull corgi
she said, "my dear sir,
she is not a cur,
she has a full pedigree!"
Old Aengus loved his whisky
he'd often become quite frisky
|
Blackadder
|
Yes ....... the lesser-intellected Booby Burd. Surprisingly, we seem to have more than our fair share of them in this forum.
Old Aengus loved his whisky
he'd often become quite frisky
He hump all the fairies
He found in his dairies
Twelve elves, seven sprites and a pisky!!!
Azzuri was gnashing his teeth
He stared at this thread in disbelief ....
|
ladyinthemists
|
Azzuri was gnashing his teeth
He stared at this thread in disbelief
As he watched the Blackadder get badder
Azzuri got madder and madder
for giving him so much unneeded grief!
How could there be any good reason
for a poster to be so unpleasin'
|
Blackadder
|
How could there be any good reason
for a poster to be so unpleasin'
But though Babygael tries
Her mental agility flies
Into the same bag she keeps her knees in!
McNumpty came back in a stooshie
He'd been abroad and was a pit pushy ......
|
kathyv
|
McNumpty came back in a stooshie
He'd been abroad and was a pit pushy
but now he is home
no longer to roam
pleased to share all memories mushy!
There once was a man from TV
who gave us all a reason to see. . .
|
Blackadder
|
There once was a man from TV
who gave us all a reason to see
That life could be good
If we lived in the nude
And gave sexual favours for free!! 
Everyone's getting a bit humpty
From Azzuri to Basbygael to McNumpty ...
|
Blackadder
|
Everyone's getting a bit humpty
From Azzuri to Babygael to McNumpty ...
Since it's lain here day by day
No-one seems to want to play
I'm giving it to Humpty-Dumpty!!!
Don't forget your hat and your coat
When you go out to vote
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Babygael
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Don't forget your hat and your coat
when you go out to vote
Tae set Scotland free
fram the auld enemy
so dinna yer fergit tae tak note!
Yew wuidn't believe it, but I paid a whole groat
Tae fly hame tae Scotland,just so ah cuid vote!
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kathyv
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Yew wuidn't believe it, but I paid a whole groat
Tae fly hame tae Scotland,just so ah cuid vote!
If the vote goes my way
I'll say it was a good stay
and head home on a slow friendly boat!
It's April and bitterly cold,
is it the weather or am I just old?. . . (Be nice now!LOL)
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Blackadder
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It's April and bitterly cold,
Is it the weather or am I just old?
Blackadder says I'm decrepit
(That's a merk he's owersteppit!)
But I'm not old, oversold or even bold!!
It's the election and I go door to door
Canvassing for votes with the core ....
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Blackadder
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It's the election and I go door to door
Canvassing for votes with the core
Will the voters go for Labour?
Yes .... but only to savour
The whole gang being nailed to the floor!!!
Let's go for limericks about the upcoming elections for the next umpteen days. See if we can entice other readers from the more political threads to contribute ... Try this one ....
McConnell's an eejit we know
Ponsonby proved it on a vijo (video)
Widnae answer the Question
Which wisnae the best yin
Let's hope the numpty will go!!!
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Blackadder
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Ah thocht ah'd bring this thread back
Cos we're needin a laugh wi' a' this cack
But Babygael's gone
And Carol's alone
And Mairead's awa' wi' the pack!
Next lines to start you off ...
Macnumpty's no here that much
Ah think s/he's losin' the touch ...
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carol
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Macnumpts a he
and he's so swell
and when he chases you BA
run like hell
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Blackadder
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?????????????
It's supposed to be a limerick, you nut! Try again ...
(and for all we know, Macnumpts could be a Trannie!)
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Blackadder
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Macnumpty's no here that much
Ah think s/he's losin' the touch ...
But come the day
Ah fund oot HE's gay
He's mibbe like Screamin' Lord Sutch??
It's gey dreich aroond the big hoose
There's no even the soond ae a moose ...
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mairead
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Blackadder he went round the world,
The banner of Lizzie 1st he unfurled
He found not the treasure
Of gold beyond measure
So Queen Liz had him frazzled and curled
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Blackadder
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Ahem!! And what happened to the previous lines ... followed by your new suggested ones? You forgetting the rules, o aged crone??
Mairead wid furget her ain heid
If it wisnae screwed oan by a threid
But her brain is quite loose
And a hame for a moose
That's been there that lang cos its deid!!!
Next lines .... and your starter for 10 ...
Lim'ricks are easy to write
As long as it isnae aw sh*te ....
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mairead
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Sorry, missed that bit at the start. Gotcha now
Lim'ricks are easy to write
As long as it isnae aw sh*te
Tae write something rude
It's just is nae bluidy good
Cos ye'll gie some auld soul a fright.
Blackadder he thinks he's that clever
His mooth it rins oan like a river
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Blackadder
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Blackadder he thinks he's that clever
His mooth it rins oan like a river
Oan a pond like a swan
He gangs on and on
But will he stoap? Naw ... nivir!!!
Next ............
Mairead's laddie's gettin wed tae a Frau
An' Blackadder he wants tae ken how ...
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mairead
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Mairead's laddies's getting hitched to a Frau
An' Blackadder wants tae ken how
By a preacher you clod
For then the poor sod
Will be taking that solemn wedding vow.
For the rest of his life he'll be cared for
By a woman who knows what she's there for
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Blackadder
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For the rest of his life he'll be cared for
By a woman who knows what she's there for
To make a mad dash
When she's nabbed all his cash
He'll be poor by wife number four!!!
It's nice to make something that rhymes
And stop when you hear the clock chimes ...
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mairead
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It's nice to make something that rhymes
And stop when you hear the clock chimes
But my clock only ticks
So what do I do next
Should I get one that tinkles the times
Now a clock does sound nice when it chimes
Especially if it chimes and has rhymes
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