Babygael
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For Xcotty......The Trifle puddingWhen is a Trifle not a Trifle.....
Xcotty spied a great big Trifle,
His lips quivering for a taste.
so he went an' goat his spoon oot'
An' shovelled it doon his face. 
He started with the fruit n' nuts,
which slid doon his neck wi' ease.
Now happily sitting in his guts,
The journey was a breeze. 
The cream was thick n' yummy,
He spooned it doon real fast.
And noo' its in his tummy,
Its creating lots o' gas!! 
And noo fir th' custard,fruit jelly n' sponge,
Which made such a very loude ruction (noise)
As he spooned up all the rest o' th' gunge
It created loads o' suction! 
There noo'. he has an empty platter
where once the Trifle sat.
But now he's so much fatter,
Next time he'll stuff th' cat!! 
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Blackadder
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Babygael sits at her desk in a stupor,
Her brain starting to decompose,
And there on the end of her finger,
Sits a bogey, picked fresh from her nose.
She fiddles around with the bogey,
Pulling it this way and that,
Then she hurls it towards her computer,
Where it lands on her screen with a 'splat'.
She looks at the bogey before she goes home,
Where it sits, now dried up, on the screen.
It's quite a big bogey, she thinks to herself,
And really, quite pleasantly green.
So she picks it off and analyses it further
On her finger as her eyes do follow
And then, absolutely disgustingly
Pops it into her mouth to swallow! 
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mairead
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BabyGael, great to see you back again
Blackadder, you are quite disgusting. Your breeding shows now.
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Blackadder
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I have a very broad sense of humour, Mairead. You obviously don't!
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mairead
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Oh yes I do, I just don't like bogey descriptions while I am eating.
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Blackadder
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Doesn't bother me. But seriously ... don't eat when you're at the computer! 
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mairead
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I ofetn have my coffee and a snack while on the PC,
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Blackadder
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Crumbs in the tiny crevices of the keyboard? Coffee splashing on the keyboard? Guaranteed ways to screw up your computer peripherals. My advice? Don't!!!
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mairead
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I'm very careful. Keep it on a tray beside the desk, not on it.
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Blackadder
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You should have all drinks in a bottle with a "nipple" top. It's safer!
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mairead
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probably right there. I did explode with laughter at something on the PC one day and spilled the coffee, (over myself thankfully)
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Xcotty
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Babygael, that was absolutely bloody brilliant pal.  
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Blackadder
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Don't go overboard with the praise, Xcotty. It was only a little trifle!!
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mairead
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But very enjoyable one.
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Blackadder
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If you like that sort of thing ... maybe! Mine was better!
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Babygael
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XCOTTY!!!  Hiya babes
When we meet up (christmas with a bit of luck) I'll make you a BG special, we can sit by the fire and share a bowl of trifle between us. Contrary to BA's opinion, I like the custard with cream part the best, yum!!  Boogers are his speciality!! 
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Blackadder
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BG ... I can get Baldrick to make you a booger special. It's his pièce de résistance of all time! And since I don't want any ... it's all yours!
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mairead
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Yeuk. Blackadder by name as well as by nature I see.
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Blackadder
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Fine! I'll have some sent round to you as well!
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mairead
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Send it with Baldrick then, and I'll have wee word with the poor sould.
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Blackadder
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Balders has requested I send one of his Czech underlings. He claims he has gerontophobia!
Not that he knew that word ... but I understood it from his fear-filled ravings! He's terrified of seeing all your wrinkles!
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mairead
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What Wrinkles? I just spent 3 grand getting rid of a few wee laughter lines
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Blackadder
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A weekend visit to Madame Botox, eh??
Or would that that've been the one whole week nip'n'tuck experience you went for. It'll be the Joan Rivers look for you then??
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mairead
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As long as it's not Jackie Stallone. My God, did you ever see such a botched up job.
Seriously though, I think I have more to worry about than a few wrinkes. I wouldn't spend a penny to get rid of mine.
I had a friend who got her eyes done to please her younger boyfriend, and you know what, She looked like a bloody Android. Imagine a 50 plus face with not One line showing. It was not nice at all. All the character had gone out of her face.
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Blackadder
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Don't get the point of it myself. Onr should grow old as disgracefully as possible ... wrinkles and all!
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mairead
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For sure. I am led to believe that all that type of surgery has to be redone again ten years later. Geez, it's bad enough to have surgery to save your life or nake you well, but cosmetic surgery, No Ta.
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Blackadder
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And yet ... you've spent 30K on it so far? Didn't take, eh??
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mairead
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Lord but you'd swallow any old rubbish. If I had 30K I'd have securicor guarding it.
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Blackadder
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So ...... you tell lies too? Would you like a shovel for that hole you're digging yourself into??
(If so ... see Carol. She has new, untraceable shovels for digging holes to put husbands into!)
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mairead
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Just a wee white one, I am not as experienced as you in the lying game, and I have shovels of my own anyway.
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Blackadder
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Yes ... you've never mentioned your past as openly as our resident murderer ... Carol!
What skeletons doth lurk in thy ancient and hoary depths of thy evil mind? Hmm?
And, according to my parents ... I lie so well, I couldn't lie straight in bed!
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mairead
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Oh I believe that. I'm afraid though I have a very ordinary past, no criminal record or such, and I'm much too shy to tell you about the good things I have done in my life, or my accomplishments.
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Blackadder
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Mairad wrote
| Quote: | | I'm afraid though I have a very ordinary past, no criminal record or such, and I'm much too shy to tell you about the good things I have done in my life, or my accomplishments. |
What Mairead meant was
| Quote: | | I'm mind-numbingly boring and a complete non-entity who's done nothing with a sad and sorry life! |
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mairead
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Not in the least. You are way off the mark there BA. I have had a life full of great experiences, travelled a good bit of the world, raised a family, worked at the most interesting and exciting places with interesting people, taken part in many sports and even represented my country in one. Boring! Dull !, not me.
When I go I will have done all the things I ever wanted to, bar one. The one I have yet to do will be to die in a Scotland that is free. Hope I can make that one.
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Blackadder
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And of course you've travelled far in your imagination too! I think you had a lot of trouble getting back. And part of you has never made it. Shame really. 
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mairead
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well you know BA, we ll have imaginations. I mean take you for example,
Yours doesn't half run riot. XXX
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Blackadder
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Whilst I agree I have a startling and sophisticated imagination ... at least mine is grounded in reality.
Yours was doomed from the start! That's what happens to fantasists!
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mairead
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Not at all. Many famous scientists were once thought of as Fantasists. Without imagination we'd still be living in caves and grunting, mind you, some of the noises you make? well I can understand. 
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Blackadder
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Grunting? No ... not at all! Farting? Oh yes ... indisputably ... and a champion at that!!!
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mairead
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Well you're bloke, I would expect nothing else. Blokes have always taken a perverse pride in that and breaking wind. Such tiny brains you see.
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Blackadder
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Actually it's got less to do with the thinking part of the brain, and more to do with the more atavistic and primitive hind-brain ... where all the animal instincts of our far ancestors lie.
It is still immensely relieving just to let one go ... while you women tend to repress this natural function and end up damaging yourselves.
No wonder you're all so uptight and frigid 98% of the time! You need us men to free you from your own worst prejudices.
Wake up, stick your head under the covers and enjoy the fruity taste of your farts!
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mairead
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GEROFF, you mucky pup.
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Blackadder
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mairead
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Such a gentleman. I'd hate to be the poor lassie who shares a duvet with you.
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Blackadder
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I don't use duvets. I still like my blankets and eiderdown.
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carol
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do you still like making tents undercover 
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Blackadder
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Do you??
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mairead
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I sometimes go back to blankets as well BA. I find duvets can be a bit too hot in the summer.
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Blackadder
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Yes .... but do you make tents under the covers? It seems Carol wants to know. Go figure! 
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mairead
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Erm No. I gave that up when I was about five years old I think.
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Blackadder
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Anyone else reading this thread wanna tell Carol??
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