| Archive for Our Scotland - www.our-scotland.org Scottish Politics Discussion Forum / Messageboard - Dedicated to online discussion about Scottish Politics and an Independent Scotland, as well as Scottish Society today. We also have a section dedicated to Banter, Sport and Recommended Sites. |
| carol |
ScroogeAnyone up for a Christmas dare? or maybe a laugh
http://www.scroogeyourself.com/ 
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| Blackadder |
Bah humbug!!! | ||
| mairead |
Now you've pinched Scrooge's line old chap. Can't you think up something better these days.? | ||
| Blackadder |
Mint Imperial! Mint Imperial! ( I ate all the humbugs! ) 
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| macnumpty |
Did Baldrick help you with that one? It's sufficiently awful. | ||
| Blackadder |
Of course he didn't. How could he when he doesn't have a brain? Really, Macnumpts ... sometimes you come across as a complete clot. Methinks I shall have to re-evaluate you.
In fact it was my third cousin, twice removed (and now I wish he was) ... Percival Blackadder of Much Lowering in Surrey ... the English branch of the family! I may just take him to look at my family shredding machine this afternoon. I wasn't going to because he's so clumsy on his feet ... but his re-evaluation of usage to the family is now complete. So it's a kindness .. well, kind of! I used his suggestion of Mint Imperials because the poor fool wanted to see his words on the computer. This was just prior to today's fatal accident! |
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| macnumpty |
The line had a quality about it that suggested brainlessness on the part of the author. How was I to know it was one of your relations? |
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| mairead |
It wasn't hard to guess macNumpts. Whoops, pardon me Lud. | ||
| Blackadder |
I see. Going for the the low humour award, are you Macnumpty? Plus you gave it away to Mairead, thereby blowing your chances. You two are not so much Morecambe and Wise, but Little and Large! | ||
| macnumpty |
Hey, don't make me get all "My mother-in-law..." on you! | ||
| Blackadder |
"Mother-in-law"? That was more Les Dawson, wasn't it?
My favourite Dawson gags ... "Got the mother-in-law a new chair last Christmas. (pause) She still hasn't plugged it in!" "She was a nasty woman, my mother-in-law. She was drummed out of the Gestapo for cruelty!" 
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| ladyinthemists |
This is toooo funny....thanks, Carol! | ||
| Blackadder |
More gems from Les Dawson, the genius
"Of course I love my mother-in-law. I was the one got her the job in the docks!" "My mother-in-law (who's a large woman) collapsed at the local crossroads outside Tesco. Police advise motorists to treat her as a roundabout!" "Tomorrow was supposed to be the mother-in-law's funeral ... but she cancelled it!" "I can always tell when the mother-in-law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps!" "The wife's mother said, "When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave." I said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea." "I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking'" "I'm not saying the wife's ugly, but last christmas she stood under the mistle toe waiting for someone to kiss and she was still there at lent. In fact she went to see that film the Elephant Man ... and the audience thought she was making a personal appearance." "In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory." "Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it." "He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical." "Marriage is an institution ... which is where most couples finish up!" |
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