Vlad's latest

The Lithgae Jambo · Vlad's latest

This has got to be one of the best press statements ever !

From the Hearts website:

The following statement was this afternoon released to The Sun newspaper by Vladimir Romanov. Mr Romanov has asked that this statement be made available to all supporters via the club's website.

The Sun reminds me of a monkey, which climbed up the media tree and is yelling and throwing s*** down on everyone from there. You could understand it if we lived in jungles, but I guess we're humans and so monkeys should remain in the Monkey House.

To understand this you don't need your Professor Monkey. You're making all the right monkey noises yourselves and publishing large pictures of me which have only got one disadvantage: that I'm not portrayed there standing on all fours with banana in my mouth. The only effect it has is to draw attention away from really interesting and serious football matters.

I'm glad though that such pictures don't have your desired impact and so in order to attack me you ask Professor Monkey to help.

This might help you but it sadly it doesn't let you see outside your own cage.

You won't destabilise the team by using such cheap methods. They're professionals, even despite your articles, which put their minds in doubt that the fair and honest game exists, and that people working in football can earn honest money.

Perhaps it is time to understand what is more important - a banana plate in Glasgow or progress in football which is sadly degraded in the past 40 years.

What I want is to work quietly without interruptions by monkeys. As for the Sun being offended about my comments over my naval service, it was my duty to reply to it. Because of my service and thousands like me, the Cold War ideologists disappeared and you and many others like you were rescued from the horror of nuclear war.

And I'm proud of it. If you've got some arguments about it, I'm ready and willing to debate with you. Sadly, though, I'm not a Mowgli to be able to get this message through to you.

Still, I'm glad to see that you need a professor to veil your lie.

I am apologising to all readers and fans for the language I have used in this letter - but I have to speak in a language that can be understood in the animal kingdom.

Meanwhile, I keep the correct count of points in the SPL: so far Hearts have got 19, Celtic - 17 points.

Rinty · u

I am totally with him, up until the points total Shocked

Reluctant Hero

That statement is right up there with Cantona's "When seaguls follow a sea trawler...."

But the thing that got me is:

The Lithgae Jambo

Rinty · u

My wee cousin is an SPL referee (dont shoot!)

I am sure that he would rather give the Jambos something than Celtic, although I do belive he has enough integrity to call it as he sees it Wink

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The Lithgae Jambo · Re: u

Reluctant Hero

The Lithgae Jambo

Rinty · y

Absolutely, the SFA actually have a secret society determined to ensure that Celtic win everything Rolling Eyes

azzuri

Back on topic - what a hero for getting ripped into that rag! Smile

Whether you love the guy or hate him - he is extremely entertaining.

Rinty · t

Aye azzurri I enjoyed the rant, I simply dont go with the points thing and the referee conspiracy. One thing that is unpredictable is what happens after events. For instance, in a game where you lose one nil to a penalty you simply do not know that the game would have been 0-0 without the penalty.

azzuri

that's true but the guy at least thinks like a real scottish football fan. He's votatile and thinks everyone is always against him and his team. He sacks managers monthly and changes his mind over players daily. Oh, and he loves having a go at the old firm. Very Happy

macnumpty

Reluctant Hero

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