welcome home Blackadder

mairead · welcome home Blackadder

Great to see you back again. We have missed you such a lot, and what have you done with the serf.?

Blackadder

Which serf are you enquiring after? And why would I know? I deal with Baldrick ... he deals with the sh*t!

mairead

Of course it was poor old Baldrick I was referring to. Who else would put up with you. Very Happy

Blackadder

Baldrick is having a day off ... to train the Romanian serfs I have hired. I can pay them so much less than so-called minimum wage ... and they're grateful!!! Very Happy

mairead

You mean you DO actually pay someone. Hope it is less than poor old Baldrick gets anyway, faithful chump that he is.

Blackadder

I said I CAN pay them ... I never said I DID pay them. The Romanians are out working today. Well, when I say working ... you'll see them in Edinburgh , Glasgow, Dundee and Aberdeen today ... and if I know Baldrick ... he'll have one or two elsewhere with their stock of empty paper cups!

mairead

mmmmh. Might have known

Blackadder

Mairead, wisdom comes with age ... but in your case, I think age comes alone.

Babygael

Speaking from experience I see BA !!

Wher'in th' bluidy blue blazes hauv yew bin I askit?? Rolling Eyes

Neverrrrrr min', yer back!! Very Happy

Blackadder

Well at last ... there you are! Did you have a nice Christmas? A Happy New Year? Well, I'll soon put a stop to that!

And now the cast are all back together again ... have at thee!

mairead

Na BA, you relly don't want to go there.

Blackadder

Please yourselves ... I care not one whit. I'm obviously too much for any of you to handle!

carol

in your dreams

mairead

To much to handle???? Have you been taking funny pills or what.

Blackadder

And those replies just prove it!

mairead

Yeah, By your replies it sure looks that way. xx

Blackadder

Mairead .... she who hesitates is not only lost ... but miles from the next exit.

carol

sounds like my driving Very Happy

mairead

And he who knows nought but thinks he knows all, is a fool, for his leaning has ceased..... Gishin Funakosi

Blackadder

Are you into Shotokan karate, Mairead?? Or just quoting from the Master? (Funakoshi Gichin)

Fortunately, I stopped leaning and stood up straight from around 18 months old.

But I have to ask you ... how many roads must a woman travel down before she admits she is lost?

mairead

Did Shotokan for many years and loved it. The humilty and discipline I learned in those years has stood by me.
Got my 1st Dan. I was more into Kumite than Kata, and fought in the Scottish championships a couple of times but sadly age has caught up with me though I can still kick out LOL.
Were you into karate too?

Don't know the answer to your riddle I'm afraid

Blackadder

Nope ... I practised Kendo until I was put into a competition aged 15. I was in danger of being soundly beaten until I suddenly remembered I was Scottish and had one move, no foreign martial art could beat that would win the match.

I stepped forward and delivered the coup de grace with a brain-stunning Glasgow Kiss. He dropped like a stone and I was disqualified and banned for life! My parents weren't too happy ... till we got home and they gave me a raise in my pocket money for not being beaten by the common little oik!

Blackadders do not accept defeat gracefully and will use any and all methods to get revenge ... a dish best served hot!

byw ... it's not a riddle ... it's an observation!

mairead

I always fancied Kendo but afraid I might get hurt

carol

I went to self defence classes for a while, so learnt some techniques, fingers in the eyes, elbow in the chin etc

so we've now got the real side of BA coming out ........... nice Wink

Blackadder

It would seem yours too, Carol. Smile

As I've always said ever since then ... if you can't beat them, hammer them into fiery oblivion! And in fact, the Blackadder family crest bears the motto ... "Victoria ... per ullus opes!" "Victory ... by whatever means!"

mairead

The pen is always mightier than the sword.

And does less damage

Blackadder

Depends on the pen. Mine has a solid gold nib that costs £500 and has a platinum exterior inscribed "To my love". Obviously not mine, I won it in a card game!

What's yours? A biro??? Very Happy

I was trained by the late Professor Bracewell, Scotland's fencing coach when I was 18 and reached a high enough proficiency for competition fencing. He was quite upset that I used "an unusual style" to win my few competitive bouts, and protested that "a sword is not an axe!" when he dismissed me from the team. Great man! I just wish he saw my methods as being perfectly fair when pitted against the Scottish champion.

So ... pen and sword. Anything else you'd like to add?

carol

I wouldn't mind trying the fencing, I think they've classes in Perth

BA I'll kick your ass, at least I'm the real me, unlike yourself that is Razz

Blackadder

And what has my Donkey, Hoaty, ever done to you that you would kick him?

carol

you're a pain

Blackadder

That's still no excuse to take it out on a dumb beast ... poor Macnumpters!

Am I finally wearing you down as I have Babygael, Mairead and the rest???

carol

I'm never worn down by you Wink

Blackadder

There's time! Very Happy

macnumpty

I am neither dumb (believe me, I can talk for ages when the mood takes me) nor a beast (well, in certain circumstances I can be, but let's not go there).

Now, do you want me to tell the people about your latest photoshoot?

carol

page 3

nite guys got a meeting tomorrow

macnumpty

Sadly, hon, you're not a Page 3 Girl quite yet. Laughing

Have fun tomorrow!

carol

I was meaning BA re page 3

meetings are never fun Very Happy

carol

i've plenty up front macnumpts Wink

pity I'm a bit passed it Crying or Very sad

Blackadder

Wibble!

carol

jelly

mairead

What makes you think you've worn me down BA. I'm afraid there is no chance of that in this lifetime dearie. Keep it coming. I do get a good start to the day when I read some of your posts. LOL

Blackadder

Maybe I haven't worn you down, Mairead ... yet ... but time's doing that for me it seems! Hope you're getting your Mars a day! Smile

mairead

Absolutely no chance of you wearing me down, I don't wear down very easily and it has been tried by experts, all of whom failed I may add.

Blackadder

And there it is, readers ... "Confessions of a 'Working' Girl"!!! You read it here first!

mairead

LOL. Na, confessions of a woman who won't be beaten by a mere man, especially by a blackadder.

Blackadder

And again ........ Confessions of the Deluded ......... Two in one ..... easy to read stuff here isn't there? This board caters for all types. And Mairead is a fine example! Smile

mairead

Yes indeed, Mairead is a Fine example of many Fine things Very Happy

Blackadder

A fine mess! A fine how d'ye do! A fine art mislaid! A fine old carry-on! A fine unpaid! ... need I go on????

mairead

No No, just a fine person. No need to dub me with all the Blackadder titles Sir. Very Happy

Blackadder

Our list of titles is so long I forget half of them. One title we do remember with pride however is Herceg of Szeged in Hungary. The title was granted by Maria Theresa I (1740–1780) for a "little service" to the State. I still get a stipend from the Hungarian Government on a regular basis for that.

mairead

Money grabbing git.

Blackadder

Yes ... and it's all salted away where Gordon bloody Broon cannae get his mitts on it! The only way we upper class have any money these days ... is to hide it! Then apply for as many grants as we can get from the public purse to keep our estates and farms working. When I'm skint, I'll be down to my last mill!

mairead

We are all aware I think, of the money grabbing upper classes, but even they can't take it with them no matter how many pockets they sew in their shrouds Very Happy

macnumpty

Oh, they can take it with them, all right, but they can't do anything with it. Very Happy

mairead

Bet the undertakers will make sure that they DON'T take it anywhere.

Blackadder

We have in-house undertakers. They can't go anywhere because of Iron-clad contracts.

And of course we don't take it with us. It's all invested in gold bullion, old art and antiques of the highest value. Each generation passes it on to the next. Which is as it should be. Which reminds me ... I think I need to beget a new heir or two. The first ones are not good enough to bear the Blackadder name and have been disinherited!

mairead

How did you disinherit them. Did you feed them to the wolves for convenience to save the legal costs.

Blackadder

The police have absolved me of all blame from that!!! It is believed they got lost one night and stupidly walked right into the wolves, who managed to get away from Baldrick, before he fed them. Baldrick had to do 500 hours of community service for his part in that. Luckily ... we have a very understanding district court judge and the best police force money can buy!

I'll thank you not to repeat stupid local gossip, or I'll report you to the police for slander!!! Evil or Very Mad

mairead

I just bet that the local judge is in your pocket at that.

Blackadder

How dare you insinuate that my best friend owes his position to my influence and money!!!

mairead

Par for the course. No great thought required.

Blackadder

Well, that suits you doesn't it? A brain that doesn't work. But you are at that age, aren't you ........

mairead

Yep. I am at that age right enough, the one where I can sort out the wheat from the chaff so to speak.

Blackadder

Yes ... chaff is the word for you, isn't it?? I can just picture you chaffing away with other old busybodies in the local market square, blue rinse hair tucked under the odd-shaped felt hat scrunched on top what can only be your head, due to its position on your body!

mairead

'Blue Rinse' na, not me pal. I'm still a bit young for the old Biddies Club. Anyway, It's not me, the real me, that is getting on, just the old body I inhabit and even that's in fairly good nick for it's age. Very Happy

Blackadder

Well, you would say that. Had it MOT'd recently??

mairead

Haven't needed one for a while as I am still in good running order. All parts still functioning beautifully thanks.

Blackadder

For the moment perhaps ... but spare parts are hard to come by for old bangers you know!

mairead

Well as long as I can Bang on, LOL

Blackadder

Oh you do that indeed! On and on and on and on ... Reminds me of how the vile Thatcher thought she'd last forever!

mairead

Shame on you for sure. Don't you dare mention my name in the same breath as that damned mad 'Maness'.

Blackadder

I KNEW you were going to say that!!! Proving once again how invincible I am with my rectitude to the fore!

Come on .... I'm telegraphing THAT one!! It's gift!!!

mairead

As she was hated by almost every thinking Scot, that was not hard for you to guess, so don't give yourself a sweetie just yet dear, not even a Blue Peter badge...