Our Scotland - www.our-scotland.org

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

Aunt Maggie, whose blood was patrician,
Once deigned to consult a beautician
He plastered her smile
To the Banks of the Nile
But that was an act of contrition!

And now, by a feat of prestidigitation
I shall attempt to communicate with the nation ...

mairead · Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:51 pm Post subject:

And now, by a feat of prestidigation
I shall attempt to communicate with the nation
"Knock Knock are you there?"
To hear you, no damn fear
Cause the nation's afraid of damnation

Ah well, off to bed now, cos nobody's there
So wearily I'll just climb up the old stair
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

Ah well, off to bed now, cos nobody's there
So wearily I'll just climb up the old stair
I'll just lay doon my heid
For a short course of bein' deid
An' I might even say a wee prayer!

My sleep was short but refreshing
My dreams were clear but enmeshing ...

mairead · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:52 am Post subject:

My sleep was short but refreshing
My dreams were clear but enmeshing
Well mine sure were not
In a nightmare I got
I destroyed my whole bed with my threshing

But the sun's shining brightly just now
It got me over my nightmare somehow
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

But the sun's shining brightly just now
It got me over my nightmare somehow
I'll be somewhat bold
And go out, face the cold
Or at least what my toes will allow!

It's so cold outside dontcha know
And up in the Highlands we still have the snow ....

Lord Pitsligo · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:26 pm Post subject:

It's so cold outside dontcha know
And up in the Highlands we still have the snow
Yet underneath kilt & sporran
There's still nothing worn
So ladies, just kneel down and blow!!!

If the snow ever falls in the south
The English get down in the mouth
_________________
"Grace Me Guide"

mairead · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:47 pm Post subject:

If the snow ever falls in the south
The English get down in the mouth
It's the same with the rain
It gives them a pain
and with sunshine, they're calling out drought

Ach well, it's just a pity they're no' as cheery
As the Scots even when they've nae beerie
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

Ach well, it's just a pity they're no' as cheery
As the Scots even when they've nae beerie
But we're no' dumb wi' a rum
It lies well in the tum
An' makes our heids go all tapsalteerie!

Though words often trip out on the tongue
They sound so much better when sung ...

mairead · Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 7:44 am Post subject:

Though words often trip out on the tongue
They sound so much better when sung
You haven't heard me
or you'd sure disagree
For I sound like a cat that has fallen in dung

Ah well, we can't have everything I suppose
I have a ready smile and no warts on my nose
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

Ah well, we can't have everything I suppose
I have a ready smile and no warts on my nose
But there's hairs on my chin
As you'll see when I grin
I cut it, but the bloody stuff grows!

It's hard when you're not as pretty as me
Mairead and Carol especially you'll see ...

mairead · Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 11:43 am Post subject:

It's hard when you're not as pretty as me
Mairead and Carol especially you'll see
Now then pretty boy
You sure ain't so coy
I wonder how pretty you really might be

Methinks you're a bit of a braggart
As well as a bit of a Blaggard
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

Methinks you're a bit of a braggart
As well as a bit of a Blaggard
Well ... I suppose that's true
But unlike you ...
I'm not old and wizened and haggard! Very Happy

So glad that I'm not a minor
And living in the hell that China ...

mairead · Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 5:29 pm Post subject:

Erm, old and wizened, Not me pal.

So glad that I'm not a minor
and living in the hell that China
seems to be
Glad I am me
And living where everythings finah

Because time's now really catching up on me
and there's no place on earth that I'd rather be
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

Because time's now really catching up on me
and there's no place on earth that I'd rather be
I'm old and I'm senile
I drool with a mad smile
And yes, my name's Mairead. That's me! Very Happy

Confession is good for the soul
At least that is what we are told ...

mairead · Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 7:12 am Post subject:

Confession is good for the soul
At least that is what we are told
But I just don't agree
My secrets are for me
so I'll take them with me when I'm cold

And the world will just have to wonder
when I have been put six feet under
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

And the world will just have to wonder
When I have been put six feet under
Was she for real?
Or even the real deal?
Or was it the world making a blunder.

Twas early one spring morn
When all sweet things are born ...

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

Anyone can do these you know. Doesn't take a lot of thinking ...

There once was a witch name of June.
Who wanted to fly on her broom.
She thought she could bank
On a hydrogen tank,
Which worked till it all went KABOOM!!

Harry Potter makes Christians go swoon
As they shout 'all you heathens are doomed!'
But we pagans are aware,
That as Satanic fare,
The movie's just 'Star Wars' on a broom.

About the image of the Goddess
Some say our humour's the oddest
She's a great centerfold
Of a playmate so bold
But it makes our celebrations the hottest. Very Happy

When the Goddess manifests as Aphrodite
It's true that sometimes she's ... well ... flighty
But her fertility rites
Take us higher than kites
When she wears her see-thru nightie. (WA-HAY!!)

There you go ... now it's someone else's turn ...

Twas early one spring morn
When all sweet things are born ...

Lord Pitsligo · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:32 am Post subject:

Twas early one spring morn
When all sweet things are born
But this time it snowed
So down I'll be blowed
And for my dead tatter shoots, I'll mourn

I wonder when spring will arrive
In snow I don't like to drive
_________________
"Grace Me Guide"

mairead · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:27 pm Post subject:

I wonder when spring will arrive
In snow I don't like to drive
Sureit won't be long now
It must get here somehow
then your driving will keep you alive

Yes it's been a long winter I know
Though there hasn't been very much snow
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · 'Our Scotland' Fossil Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 4021

Yes, it's been a long winter I know
Though there hasn't been very much snow
The wind's been so bitter
Can't even titter
Or even raise a warm glow!! Sad

Oh the pain, the pain, the pain
Yer hale heid hurts wi' migraine ...