Our Scotland - www.our-scotland.org

Lord Pitsligo · Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:23 pm Post subject:

The hero came from deep outer space
An alien from a far unimaginable place
From a galaxy they say
That was far, far away
And he wore a black mask on his face

Gordon's a spy, yes its true
He'll help Alex do what he wants to do

_________________
"Grace Me Guide"

Blackadder · Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:04 am Post subject:

Gordon's a spy, yes its true
He'll help Alex do what he wants to do
He'll help Scotland be free
Just wait and you'll see
He's just not quite thought it all through!

(Will contributors PLEASE learn a little about the Rules of Limericks. I refer you to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry) What's the point if you lot don't know anything about this artform and how they operate!)
Evil or Very Mad

Babygael · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:36 am Post subject:

Blackadder obiviously thinks we are all fules
just because we won't stick to the rules,
so lighten up me ole' hun
we're just having fun
Not all of us have goat the reet tools! Very Happy

So it looks like its gonna be Obama.....
which is a heck of a lot better than Osama! Shocked

_________________
Ath-bheothachad

Here is where I come to water my roots.

Blackadder · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:26 am Post subject:

So it looks like its gonna be Obama.....
which is a heck of a lot better than Osama!
But then it could have been Hillary
(Some think of as Bill-ary)
Heck, I'd've voted for a llama!!!

You want the right tools to do the job?? Simply put it's called SCANSION. I can play fast and loose with limericks too ... in fact, I've heard it said that there's no such thing as a good clean limerick. However, I would have to disagree; I like clear limericks. But then, most of the best clear limericks aren't really limericks at all. To be more precise, my favorite limericks are mostly the ones that play with or comment on the limerick form, directly or indirectly: meta-limericks of one kind or another.

Most ordinary limericks don't rhyme or scan nearly as well as I'd like; I figure if you're going to use a fairly strictly defined verse form (like limericks, haiku, double-dactyls, or sonnets) you ought to stick to the restrictions of that form unless you have a good reason not to (though admittedly limerick scansion is a good deal looser than that allowed for, say, double-dactyls). There are plenty of non-scanning limericks out there, especially in theatrical games; I prefer the ones that either scan well or are quite aware that they don't, like this one (with no attribution I'm aware of):

There was a young bard of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When they said it was so,
He replied, "Yes, I know,
But I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."
Anonymous

And taking non-scansion in the opposite direction:

There once was a fellow from Xiangling
Whose greatest delight was in mangling
Poems. He would drop
Words between lines and lop
Their ends off, and leave readers dang
Elliott Moreton

Playing with the rhyme scheme rather than the scansion, a renowned Victorian versifier wrote:

Limerick in Blank Verse

There was an old man of St. Bees
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
When they asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No, it doesn't,
But I'm sure glad it wasn't a hornet."
Sir William S. Gilbert

Even the number of lines is not a constant, as in this pair of anonymous items:

There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two.

There was a young man from Verdun.

And then, as Elliott Moreton and Carl Muckenhoupt have been known to remark, there's the one about the Emperor Nero.

Some years back, Elliott and Carl produced The Oxford Book of Meta-Limericks (privately published, Oxford, MS, ca. 1989), now sadly out of print. The following limericks are quoted from that slim volume, by kind permission of the authors.

More limericks with pieces missing:

There was a Soviet captain named XXXXXXXXXX
Who was a XXXXXXX technician in XXXXXXXXX.
He was XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
For failure to clear
Limericks with his superiors.
Elliott Moreton

A lady whose name was McCord
Once over this limerick pored
To find the evil design
Hidden in the last line
But alas, she could not see the .
Elliott Moreton

(This one is an in-joke based on the Illuminatus! trilogy.)

A cardiac patient named Fred
Made a limerick up in his head.
But before he had time
To write down the last line ...
Elliott Moreton

Some other self-referential limericks:

There was a young poet quite fine,
Whose limericks repeated a line.
Though this was redundant,
Though this was redundant,
His limericks repeated a line.
Carl Muckenhoupt

This poem is copyright ©
By the author, 1983.
Prior written consent
Is required to present
It on radio, film, or TV.
Elliott Moreton

The idea of meta-limericks can be taken a step beyond limericks that comment on themselves, to self-referential items that claim to be limericks but (by the usual definition) aren't:

Once there was a guy from Atlanta whose limericks were indistinguishable from prose.
Elliott Moreton

And finally, there are items that start out disguised as limericks but turn out not to be at all. These two don't even directly claim to be limericks, but they do bring up the question of their own limerick-nature:

There once was a limerick
But this isn't it.
This isn't a limerick;
It isn't even a poem.
Carl Muckenhoupt

A newspaper poet for Hearst
Deprived of his reason
By uncontrolled sneezing
Was by phantasmal demons coerced
To write all of his limericks reversed.
Elliott Moreton

And now ... the next two lines

Our Blackadder's a great one rhyming
He says that it's all in the timing ...

Lord Pitsligo · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:08 am Post subject:

Our Blackadder's a great one rhyming
He says that it's all in the timing
But he's been so pedantic
And so unromantic
That he'll probably complain about this one as well

I before E it must be
Except when it comes after C
_________________
"Grace Me Guide"

Blackadder · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:20 pm Post subject:

I'm complaining it's true
Because eejits like you
Are ruining the poetry I like
So just play the game
And if not, just the same
Go bugger off on your bike!!! Evil or Very Mad

I before E it must be,
except when it comes after C
That is the rule of grammar
But that's not always true
If you spell like most do
And worse if you've got a bad stammer!

(not strictly a limerick ... but then, you lot are worse!)

Were you not taught in your schools
That you must follow the rules ...

Babygael · Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:26 pm Post subject:

were you not taught in your schools
that you must follow the rules...
Sure, I followed like a clone
wi'oot a thought of me own
och noo I use ma own tools!! Wink

Me dear auld Grandpappy, MacTavish,
His whusky an' haggis he wud ravish.
_________________
Ath-bheothachad

Here is where I come to water my roots.

Blackadder · Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 7:46 am Post subject:

Me dear auld Grandpappy, MacTavish,
His whusky an' haggis he wud ravish.
He'd bile aw his neeps
An he'd tae aw o' they peeps
Oan the Internet, he would thum lavish!

They aye try tae catch me oot
In their minds they huvnae a doobt ...

mairead · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 5:27 am Post subject:

They aye try tae catch me oot
In their minds they huvnae a doobt
They ken weel that ah'm class
tho' ah'm a bit short o' the brass
jist as weel at the bank ah've goat cloot

Och aye, when ah walk in the door
They a' ken that ah'm just in for more
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:54 am Post subject:

Och aye, when ah walk in the door
They a' ken that ah'm just in for more
Ah jist want mah cash
Cos then ah've tae dash
Tae spend it oan booze an' some whores!!!

Ye cannae beat a Blackadder rhyme
Cos he kens how tae mak' it keep time ...

mairead · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:15 am Post subject:

Ye cannae beat a Blackadder rhyme
Cos he kens how tae mak' it keep time
he sure prattles galore
points trying tae score
alas he jist cannae keep up wae mine

Sae jist keep oan tryin' Blackadder ma freen'
Ah'm shair there is somethin' they twa een between
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 5:26 pm Post subject:

Sae jist keep oan tryin' Blackadder ma freen'
Ah'm shair there is somethin' they twa een between
"The trouble wi' them
Is that they huv nae brain
An' dinnae ken if they're comin' or been!"

Oh Andy is oot o' the game
But his bru'r is tryin' fur fame ...
_________________
Laird of Treverlen

mairead · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 5:45 pm Post subject:

Oh Andy is oot o' the game
But his bru'r is trying fur fame
Ach well Andy is young
His turn still might come
wance he's stopt actin' like a wee bairn

He's goat talent for sure
but his muscles are still poor
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 6:18 am Post subject:

He's goat talent we know that for sure
but his muscles are still awfy poor
Still, he'll build them right up
An' HE'LL lift Wimbledon's cup
And leave the rest o' them a' in his stoor!

(Sorry, Mairead ... your first two lines needed a letttle extra to make them scan a bit better. Hope you approve. Very Happy

)

Ole Blackadder ... he's at it again
Critiquing another's work when ....

mairead · Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 7:38 am Post subject:

Ole Blackadder...he's at it again
Critiquing another's work when
He's read it all wrong
but I won't make a song
Or dance till he does it again

I suppose it it down to the stress
On the words, well that is my guess

NO bother BA.
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 9:05 am Post subject:

I suppose it is down to the stress
On the words, well that is my guess
For the rest I don't know
And the question is, so
How did I wake up wearing a pink frilly dress! Shocked

(Serves me right going to civil partnership reception where most of the guests were gay and determined to get me into a frock by the end of the night! B*st*rds!)

I admit I don't look good in a frock
With a beard like mine, it's a shock ...

mairead · Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 10:09 pm Post subject:

I admit I don't look good in a frock
with a beard like mine, 'it's a shock
A guy gave me 'the heid'
for my daring wee deed
Guess I really will have to take stock

'Cos my humour it don't seem to work
Either that or that guy was a jerk
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 7:22 am Post subject:

'Cos my humour it don't seem to work
Either that or that guy was a jerk
My jokes were quite sound
With pensioners I've found
But not with a man who's a berk!!!

I'm a pirate on the old Spanish Main
And pirating doubloons is my game ...
_________________
Laird of Treverlen

mairead · Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:15 pm Post subject:

No, your humour it don't seem to work,
Could it be you that's a bit of a jerk
Some pensioners, like me
may find you amusing, but see
That don't mean you're funny just easy work

And your witticisms might sound quite fun
From where you're sitting, but I find them dumb

Only joking of course. All in the name of limericks x
_________________
I fear not hell, nor English strife,
For Scotland, I will give my life

Blackadder · Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:33 pm Post subject:

Ahem!! Since when do you just ignore the next two lines ... unless of copurse, they don't scan ... which mine do??

Get to it ... finish it off before you start getting inventive!

I'm a pirate on the old Spanish Main
And pirating doubloons is my game ...